


Like a Feather Bringing Kingdoms to Their Knees

by Nopejune



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: F/F, Princess AU, Royal Marriage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-23
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:08:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 37,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23286808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nopejune/pseuds/Nopejune
Summary: Politics between two kingdoms forced Ava to marry someone she didn't love. Sara Lance had to escort her to the kingdom hidden among mountain peaks.Same old the princess and the knight plot? Maybe so. Maybe not.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 139
Kudos: 385





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I have to focus on writing one story (The Black Ice), but ideas come and I couldn't resist. It wants to be told. Enjoy. Thanks roguebeachcomber for beta this. I hope everyone is doin okay.

The black flag emerged above the horizon, dancing in the cold dry wind. Ava felt a twist in her stomach at the sight. Every step her horse took toward the northern border of Astore and Nanda Parbat, her body felt heavier and heavier. Her hands tightened the grip around the reins. The terrain wasn’t smooth like the lowland where she came from. It was difficult to control her upper body and not fall from the horse’s back. The navy satin cloak did protect her, but it couldn’t ease the cold seeping from the pit of her stomach. The royal guards around her didn’t even try to hide their sympathy, letting the eerie galloping sound from their horses fill the passage that cut between mountains. 

They had all the right to pity her. But they wouldn’t understand how desperate she was right now to escape from their protection. She wanted to kick the body of her horse and ride in full speed towards the south or wherever far from the border of Nanda Parbat. 

Ava took a deep shaky breath when she saw a troop of horsemen in black attires waiting solemnly on the other side of the crossing point. The gurgling sound from the stream running along the side of the passage didn’t calm her anger at all. Ava clenched her jaw when the chief guard raised his hand to stop her group. He got off his horse and quickly walked towards her. He bowed his head.

“Your Highness.” He didn’t even dare to look at her in the eyes. He knew he was too helpless to save her from those barbaric mountaineers. 

A Nanda Parbat soldier got off a horse. Ava was a bit surprised that the soldier’s physique was quite small. A woman. Her face was half-covered by a black balaclava like the other soldiers. She walked towards her group, one of her hands clutching at the grip of her sword hanging on the side of her waist. She stopped a few feet away from Ava's horse. Piercing blue eyes flitted up, looking at Ava without any sign of fear, strands of blonde hair dancing on the side of her face in the wind. 

“Welcome to our humble kingdom, Your Highness. My name is Sara Lance. The Duchess couldn’t wait to meet you.” She was small but her voice was authoritative, as if she weren’t speaking to a royalty who was to be wedded to the Duchess of Nanda Parbat.

Ava gritted her teeth, holding back the heat burning in her eyes. “Lead the way.” Ava’s voice might be colder than the water in the stream that melted from the snow. She held her gaze on those blue eyes, she didn’t want to be intimidated by the soldier’s inappropriate manner. 

“Your band of royal guards are not allowed to cross the border. Worry not, Your Highness. We will keep you safe and entertained.” Ava was certain that she saw a faint smirk through the woman’s eyes. 

Ava heard a screeching of a sword being pulled out of its sheath. Her chief guard stepped between Ava’s horse and the Nanda Parbat soldier. 

“How dare you! We will not leave Her Highness alone with you barbarians.” He spatted, pointing the tip of his sword at the woman. 

“Nandar Parbat has a strict rule. Armed groups from any other kingdoms may not enter our territory. Last time the Astore troop stepped on our land, five of civilians were killed. We came to escort Princess Ava. We promise Her Highness safety and comfort. Please don’t make it complicated. Your royal guards won’t stand a chance.” 

The royal guards responded to the woman by pulling their swords out. Ava heard a laugh from the band of the soldiers on the opposite side of the border. The Nanda Parbat warriors were known to be deadly. Judging from how relaxed those soldiers were, Ava didn’t think her royal guards could survive the battle.

“Hold on!” Ava raised one of her hands, halting her royal guards from moving closer. “I can take care of myself. The battle is unnecessary. Please go back to our land and protect our people.” Ava waited until she was sure that no one would start a fight. “General, thank you for protecting me. Now let me do this little thing to protect you.” She talked to the chief guard. He looked at her with sorrow. He, too, must be angry that he could do nothing to stop them. 

He stepped aside. The Nanda Parbat soldier stepped closer to the side of her horse. She offered her hand to help Ava get off the horse. Ava dismissed the offer and gracefully stepped down from the beast. Standing on the same ground, she realized that the woman in front of her was quite small. 

“Take Her Highness’s belongings. We will move shortly.” The woman commanded her troop. She didn’t move her eyes from Ava at all. Three Nanda Parbat soldiers jumped off their horses and quickly came and took her luggage from her servants. 

The woman turned her back towards Ava and started walking. Ava should be thankful that her mother forced her to wear her royal dress. If she was in the more comfortable clothes, she might just punch the woman walking in front of her. 

+++++++++

Two weeks after the battle against an insurgency near the border of Astore and Nanda Parbat, Ava was summoned to the throne room. Her father, the King of Astore, and her brother, the Duke, were waiting for her. Predicament could be seen from the way their faces furrowed. All of the ministers were there, including Sir Bennette, the leader of a political fraction in Astore court.

“The battle near the Nanda Parbat border went too far. The rebel group retreated into Nanda Parbat territory. Our soldiers didn’t stop. Five civilians were killed.” Her father informed her. He didn’t even let her sit properly on her seat. Ava clenched her jaw at the news. She disagreed with her father’s violent strategy to deal with the insurgencies along the border. 

“Nanda Parbat sent a royal messenger this morning. Ra’s Al Ghul demanded justice. The head of whoever is in charge of our military, Sir Bennette’s, to be precise, or royal marriage.” He paused, making sure Ava listened to his words. “War is also an option.” His voice was heavy. It almost sounded like the king was desperate. But Ava knew he wasn’t. He knew exactly what would be the right choice. Her brother was his heir, he wouldn’t let him be influenced by Nanda Parbat. The king knew that Ava wouldn’t protest. She didn’t. No matter how much she despised being forced to marry someone she didn’t know - someone from the dynasty known for brutality - Ava wouldn’t allow anyone to be killed, let alone bringing war to her people. Nanda Parbat mountains were full of precious gemstones and minerals, but unlike Astore, the kingdom didn’t have direct access to the sea. Those barbaric mountaineers have tried to find a reason to conquer Astore for years. Now they could easily destroy her kingdom and put her people under their control. Ava wouldn’t let it happen. They could take her as a royal hostage and use her as a leverage, but she would never betray her land. 

Ava should be grateful that the messenger made it clear that the royal marriage would be between herself and the Duchess of Nanda Parbat, not the widowed king himself. But that didn’t make it feel any better. She remembered the summit held at her father’s court fifteen years ago. Ava was ten. Princess Nyssa was among the royal children who came with the kings of the neighboring kingdoms. Her father assigned Ava to entertain the young nobles. He said that alliances were important and should be formed at the early age.

She was about her age. Dark hair was kept in intricate braids, her face stoic. She didn’t wear a glamorous layered dress like the other princesses. She wore black jacket and pants with silver embroidered on the jacket collar and lapels. Like the other royalties, Nyssa had an attendant following her like her shadow. The other royal children had someone old enough to protect them. But Nyssa’s servant was a small child, not older than eight year old, a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes too cold for her age. Ava didn’t think the kid could be of any help if Nyssa was in danger. Ava noted in her mind that the Nanda Parbat Heir must be so strong that she didn’t need protection. These two didn’t talk and they looked bored all the time. 

It wasn't until someone proposed to visit the training ground that Ava finally noticed a mild excitement from Nyssa. Some boys wanted to spar with each other. Ava knew they just wanted to impress all of the princesses in the group. 

Ava let them fight with wooden swords. She saw how nervous the princes’ poor servants were. The bruises on their masters’ bodies could end their career, or even their lives. The boys had fun. The girls started cheering and giggling. Some of the princes were quite charming, some didn’t seem to be intelligent. At a corner of the training ring, Nyssa was with her little royal servant. They talked, quietly. Sometimes they smiled. It was as if what was going on in their proximity didn’t matter to them at all. They were in their own world. 

Ava’s attention turned to the sparring ring when she heard a thud of a body hitting the dirt ground. Prince Augustus of Mercia was standing tall. His eyes were on the curling form on the ground. Prince Leon of Arles tried to get on his feet, but the older boy didn’t let him. He kicked him, but his foot hit Leon’s servant who was quick enough to use his body to shield his master from the attack. Of course, the man would let Augustus hit him however he wanted. He knew better not to cause a conflict between Mercia and Arles. 

Ava couldn’t stand it. Before her servant knew, Ava was already behind Augustus and grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to stop kicking. He turned his body towards her. He smirked, eyes flicking up and down. Ava knew that kind of gaze. Just like many boys she knew, he thought girls were weak. He wasn’t the first boy who looked at her that way. 

It seemed like the prince didn’t have a proper education. He didn’t think about the consequences at all. He grimaced and lunged towards Ava. Ava’s heart was pounding. She just started to learn combat skills a week ago. She wasn’t sure at all if his attack would cause a war between Mercia and Astore. Maybe not, she wasn’t that important. Ava squeezed her eyes shut when she saw a punch thrown at her. 

She didn’t feel like anything hit her face. Instead, she heard a cry from Augustus. She opened her eyes and it wasn’t another prince playing a hero. It was the little girl who came with Nyssa who was standing between Ava and Augustus. His hands covered over his crotch, his body curling in pain. 

_“How dare You!”_ The prince snarled at the little girl. He reached his hand to her, clearly aiming for her throat. 

“ _Arghhhhh!_ ” He cried in agony, pulling his arm back and fell to the ground. The little girl giggled. She did nothing. It was Nyssa who broke his fingers. Augustus’s servant quickly came to check on him. 

“ _The king of Mercia won’t spare your life!_ ” The guard yelled at Nyssa.

The princess placed her palm on the little girl’s head and ruffled her hair before she turned to look at the crying prince and his subject. 

_“In Nanda Parbat, if kids bully other kids, we break their arms, so they can’t hurt anyone for at least three months. It’s a mild punishment.”_ Nyssa said with a smile. The girl was beautiful, but that smile didn’t make her look pretty. A smile of joy in violence couldn’t make anyone pretty.

The man’s face suddenly turned pale. He didn’t say anything more but quickly dragged his prince away from the sparring ring. 

Ava’s legs felt weak. Nyssa disregarded her presence and walked away from the group. The little girl followed her. Before they left the training area, the little girl gave Ava a last glance. 

Ava had heard about Nanda Parbat since she was little. Parents told their kids they would send them to Nanda Parbat if they didn’t behave. The kingdom was governed by violence and fear. A smallest crime could be punished with death. Seeing the way Nyssa handled the situation that day, Ava had no doubt about those rumors. 

+++++++

They gave her a horse. The band of soldiers didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Sara Lance wasn’t just a female soldier assigned to accompany a female royal guest. She was the head of the group. The other soldiers, all were men, interacted with her with respect. 

After an hour ride, Sara Lance raised her right hand and the group stopped. She hopped off her horse and walked to the packhorse, getting a set of black clothes from a duffel bag. She then walked to Ava. 

“Come with me, Your Highness.” The woman tilted her head up to talk to Ava. 

“Why?” 

“The trail ahead is quite steep. Better change to the more practical clothes, Your Highness.” The blue eyes showed the glint of amusement. But her voice was firm. Despite Ava’s noble status, clearly, the woman regarded her as a hostage, and this was just a way to humiliate her.

Ava didn’t respond. She raised her eyebrows. What if she purposefully delayed the group? What if she didn’t obey? Ava didn’t respond, using the moment to estimate her importance. 

“Another option is riding with me. I can’t let you fall off the clift. My soldiers would be punished to death.” 

Ava’s lips frowned. She straightened her back. “I know how to ride a horse.” She said firmly.

“You don’t know how to ride on the mountain.” The woman raised one of her eyebrows. The black cloth covering her face fell down a little, revealing the freckles painted across her nose bride. 

Ava tightened her jaw. She was a good rider. She rode on a mountain trail before. But Astore terrain was anything like Nanda Parbat -- a kingdom hidden between peaks of a complex mountain range. Ava got off the horse. Sara Lance started walking to the front of the group. She had short legs but her strides were quick. Ava had to quicken her steps to catch her. 

“How can I change in the forest like this?” Ava asked, panting. They were far enough from the group that Ava didn’t think those soldiers would hear their conversation.

“I know a spot private enough, Your Highness.” The woman kept walking. They were now off the trail and surrounded by big pine trees. Streaks of light shone through the evergreen branches, illuminating the bright green mosses patched on the deep brown forest ground and grey rocks. Ava looked up to the silhouette of the canopies. Birds sang to the melody of wind that swayed tree branches. She didn’t see what kind of birds they were. It would have been a pleasant getaway from the cold stone wall of her palace, if the trip wasn’t meant to deprive her freedom.

Sara stopped when they were under the canopy of an old red cedar. The tree trunk was huge with reddish brown bark. 

“Here.” She held the clothes in front of Ava.

Ava frowned, looking around. There was nothing that could shield her. “I don’t see anything resembling privacy.” 

“We are alone. That’s private enough. The birds don’t care if you are naked.” 

Ava glared at the woman. Her gaze quickly flicked up and down in disbelief.

“A soldier might.” Ava straightened her back. She wanted to look as tall as possible. 

“A soldier might.” Sara Lance nodded. Ava’s retort didn’t affect her the way she wanted.

Ava’s face scowled at the woman in front of her, exasperated. She snatched the black clothes. The soldier lazily turned around, giving Ava the needed privacy. Ava walked around the tree trunk, hoping to use it to shield herself.

“Wolves, leopards, and brown bears are the common predators around here. Don’t go too far from me.”

“Of course, I can’t die, otherwise your kingdom would lose the leverage to control our sea port.” Ava mumbled to herself, furiously untying her cloak. She took a moment to rest her back against the rough bark of the tree, closing her eyes. Since three days ago, this was the first moment that she wasn’t being watched by someone. She let out a deep shaky breath and opened her eyes again. She took off the outer layer of her clothes, leaving only the long linen blouse. Her long legs felt bare and it made her skin prickle. She quickly got herself into the new set of clothes Sara gave her. Ava wouldn’t complain. She prefered wearing pants. The fabric of the Nanda Parbat clothes was soft but quite thick. She almost looked like one of the soldiers, except for the pattern of silver threads lining on the collar. Ava was certain that making her change clothes was a symbolic act to force her to conform and accept the authority of Nanda Parbat. Ava gathered her long honey blonde hair and twisted it, coiling it into a bun. 

She walked back to Sara, nudging the folded dress to her. She must maintain the hierarchy and act like Sara Lance was a subject. Sara took it. If Ava wasn’t wrong, the infuriating woman bore her eyes on Ava a moment too long before she blinked quickly. She didn’t say a word. She started walking back to the group. 

++++++

The mountain trail was getting steeper and steeper, as if it was leading them to the sun that was glaring in the middle of the bright sky. Snow covered mountain peaks looked small from afar. 

They said it would take an hour more to arrive at the camp that was already set for Ava’s first night in Nanda Parbat. If everything went as planned it would take about two weeks to reach the palace where the Duchess was waiting to meet her. The journey was tiring, but Ava didn’t want it to end. Facing her reality was a lot more difficult to stomach. 

The wind was dry. The hint of humidity she usually felt in her homeland had disappeared. Her cheeks felt a bit burned by the strong sun. She squinted her eyes, hands holding onto the reins, trying her best not to fall while the horse was climbing the challenging slope. 

They reached the more flattened terrain when Sara stopped the group. Ava was too tired to care. Her head fell forward a little. The loose strands of her hair stuck on her face. She had been traveling for a week from the center of Astore to the border of Nanda Parbat. 

Sara pulled the reins to turn her horse around and approach Ava. She took a water canteen out of the bag hanging on the saddle. She opened the cap and offered the bottle to Ava. Ava lifted her head up. The eyes on her looked paler in the midday sun. Ava took it and drank without a thought. 

“We are almost there.” Sara’s voice softened a bit. Ava returned the bottle when she drank enough. Sara put it back in her saddle bag. 

To Ava’s surprise, the woman didn’t just leave her. She unwrapped the black scarf that hid a half of her face. The freckles covered most of her pale skin. Thin pouty lips were pressed together above the chin dimple. Ava hated the way her heart skipped a beat, wondering what it took for a woman so young to become a high-ranked soldier of the deadliest army. 

The scarf, a strip of cashmere, was offered to her. Ava looked back and forth between the scarf and its owner. She wasn’t sure what’s hidden behind the depth of those blue eyes. She took it. Her lips were too heavy to utter a thank you. Sara tore her gaze from Ava, turning her horse towards the north. 

Ava covered her face from under her eyes, wrapping the scarf around her neck and tying a knot behind her head. A soft scent that resembled orange blossom mixed with cedar wood graced her senses. There was a faint hint of sweat, but it wasn’t unpleasant. Ava ducked her head down when she felt the heat creeping on her cheeks. She tapped her heels on her horse’s body to urge it to go forward, trying not to look for the leader of the group. 

++++++++

The group arrived at the camp in the late afternoon. Ava was a bit surprised that some soldiers just stopped what they were doing and ran towards Sara’s horse with joy. They greeted her for a short moment. Sara dismissed them and got off the horse. She quickly walked towards Ava and offered her hand to help Ava get down from the saddle. Sitting on the horse for many hours, Ava’s legs were fatigued. She didn’t see a point to be stubborn. She grabbed Sara’s forearm and stepped down from the beast. She took her time to get used to the feeling of standing on the ground again. It took a minute of Sara looking away while standing close to her.

“Zari, take Her Highness to her tent. Dinner will be ready in about an hour.” Sara told a girl who ran to greet her and just left without looking at Ava. 

Zari didn’t dress like a soldier. She was in a beige tunic. The girl looked excited. Her smile was the first she had seen since she learned about her inevitable fate. 

“The tent was beautiful. Trust me, Princess.” She even gave her a wink. Ava didn’t understand why the girl seemed to enjoy serving her.

The big tent was circular in shape. It was lined with felt to ensure insulation. Inside, a pole stood in the middle, surrounded by furniture. A big bed was covered by a clean fur blanket. On one table, a big bowl and a jar of water were prepared for Ava to clean her face. At a corner, there was another table with a basket of fruits on it. The tent was too big for being used only for a night. Ava chuckled to herself. No matter how luxurious it was, she’s still a hostage. She didn’t think she could sleep with ease. 

She wasn’t aware that she took a nap until she heard Zari wake her up. The journey wore her out. Ava got up and adjusted her hair and her clothes. Her stomach groaned. Zari laughed at her. A servant never laughed at her before. 

It was already dark when Ava and Zari left the tent. A bonfire was burning at the center of the camp. A low table was set far enough from the flame. Sara was sitting on a cushion at the table. Her blonde hair was not covered, glowing in the light from the flame. Zari and Ava joined her. Three plates of food were served. 

“I hope our food isn’t too mundane for a princess from the Astore.” Sara cut a piece of meat and placed it on her plate. 

“What is it?” Ava didn’t know what kind of meat it was. It looked grey, not appetizing at all.

Sara smirked. “Bear meat. The rumor is true. The barbarians of Nanda Parbat eat bear meat. That’s why we are strong.”

Ava grimaced. Zari scooped some other grey thing on another plate and put in on Ava’s. “Try our vegetable dish. Too bad you don’t like meat.” Zari added a nan bread to her plate. 

“Yeah, too bad. Our famous dish is steamed bear brains.” Sara said while chewing. 

Ava dropped a fork. The name of the dish conjured a disgusting image. Ava was hungry, but she felt something coiling in her stomach. She took a gulp of water. 

“Don’t listen to Sara. This is grilled mountain goat. We don’t eat bears. They are too fatty.” Zari said casually. It didn’t make her feel any better. In Astore, goat meat was not common. She opted for the vegetable dish. It was sauteed eggplants. It was simple but tasty enough with olive oil, salt, and some spices. She would eat fruits later if she got hungry at night.

++++++++

Ava woke up when she felt the cold on her bare arms. The blanket fell from her body. Ava groaned. She sighed before slowly propped herself up. She reached down to the floor and searched for the blanket. Light from the bonfire shone through the tent entrance. Two soldiers were assigned to guard her tent. They must think Ava would try to escape. Maybe she could. Sara must be sleeping.

Most of the soldiers were sleeping. The camp was quiet enough that Ava could hear the cracks of firewood if she listened carefully. The two guards murmured something to each other to keep themselves awake. 

Ava found the soft touch of the fur blanket. She gathered it from the ground. No, she couldn’t escape this. She had made the decision. If the group lost her, Nanda Parbat would accuse her father of breaking their deal. They would march to Astore and destroy her kingdom. Ava sighed. She got on the bed and let herself fall on the mattress, pulling the blanket up to cover her chin. 

“Poor Lance. How could she deal with all of these.” 

Ava squinted her eyes when she heard one of the guards talking. Lance? He was talking about Sara. Ava held her breath. 

“What do you mean?” It seemed like the other guard didn’t have a clue.

“Come on. Everyone knows why she is the Duchess’s favorite. It must be painful to escort her lover’s future wife to the palace so they can get married.”

Ava swallowed. It made sense. That’s why Sara treated her like a hostage. She had every right to hate Ava. Ava thought this whole royal marriage was only bad for herself. She forgot that Nyssa, too, might not agree with the arrangement. She already had someone. And that someone was in pain. That’s why her eyes were cold. That’s why her words were coated with mockery. If Ava listened carefully, she might have heard bitterness in every _‘Your Highness’_ she addressed her.

Ava pulled the blanket over her head, she didn’t want any intrusive light. Her heart pounded at the information she just learned. She hoped she could sleep. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Whelp, it's not like I have time to write fiction but I write it anyway. I don't do summary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you roguebeachcomber for helping. May Sars-Cov-2 have mercy on us.

Sara didn’t wait until the camp was taken down. The group left shortly after they had breakfast. Ava opted to eat just a piece of nan and a cup of coffee. The soldiers who were responsible for the camp site would follow them later. Nanda Parbat wasted a lot of time and manpower just to have Ava for their political and economic gain. 

The higher they traveled, the smaller the trees. The pine forests were left behind. Now, they were in the region where trees were scattered. The trail was lying along the mountain ridge, giving Ava the view of the infinite field of newly sprung grasses. The landscape was beautiful but Ava felt too tired to enjoy it after two hours on the horse. Obviously, the stress of the whole situation started to affect her body. She wasn’t in a mood to talk. 

“Is sea water really salty?” 

“What?” It was difficult to listen to the servant. The wind was loud. Ava turned to Zari who was riding side by side with her. Today, Sara didn’t keep her eyes on Ava. She was with her soldiers in the front. It must be a relief for Sara that she didn’t have to accompany her anymore.

“I asked you if the sea was really salty. I’ve never been to one.” Through the orange scarf that covered her face, Ava saw a smile. Ava should thank her. Unlike Sara, Zari wasn’t cold and never addressed her with a royal pronoun. Zari seemed to think of her as a human, not a political object. 

Ava pulled the black scarf down a little. “Yeah. If you were stranded in the sea. You would be dehydrated. You can’t drink sea water.” 

“So, it’s like a desert but wet?” 

Ava’s eyebrows furrowed at the comparison. She never thought about the sea that way before. “Too bad I probably won’t get a chance to show you the coast of Astore.” Her head felt heavy when it hit her that the beauty of the ocean would only exist in her memory. She didn’t hope that Ra’s Al Ghul or Nyssa would let her visit home. 

“You want to take me to the ocean if you can?” Zari’s eyes were sparkling, showing the genuine excitement. The girl may not understand Ava’s circumstance at all. To normal people, a royal marriage between two young princesses must look like a romantic fantasy. Ava nodded and turned her focus to the path. She sucked in another breath. Having only a nan bread might not be enough for this demanding journey. 

They spent another hour riding down the gentle slope that ended at the bank of a stream. Sara decided that the group would take a lunch break here while the horses could spend some time grazing the grasses and drinking water. The stream seemed shallow but the water was rapid, tumbling over rocks on its way, growling like a stormy sky. Zari laid a blanket on the ground far enough from the bank. Lunches were unpacked and distributed. Sara joined them shortly after a soldier took her horse. 

Ava’s stomach felt like she was losing the sense of gravity, but still, she ignored the cold meat. Dry dates and another piece of bread should be enough. She chewed the food quickly before swallowing it. The place was beautiful, but Ava found no joy in it. 

“This one is not goat meat. You can eat it.” Sara told her while tearing the piece of meat with her hands -- her dirty hands. Ava had never seen a person eat with such a poor manner like that before. 

“What is it this time? Leopard meat?” Ava mumbled without looking at the woman sitting opposite to her. 

“No, we keep leopards as pets. I have one at my house. This is wild boar meat. You should try it.” She nudged the bag of the meat towards Ava. The rumor that the people of Nanda Parbat trained wild animals to use them as their weapons was also true. 

Ava grimaced. “I won’t be surprised if one day I find out that you eat monkeys or snakes.” Ava put the piece of bread down. She lost her appetite.

Sara stopped eating. She fixed her eyes on Ava for a moment. Ava noticed how her jaw pronounced before she took the bag of meat and got up and walked away to join her soldiers, leaving Ava and Zari alone. 

Zari shook her head and looked at Ava disapprovingly. “You know, I want that meat too.” Ava pursed her lips and looked away. Thinking of what she learned from the guards last night, Sara’s dislike of her was expected. Their lives collided in the worst way possible.

After they were done eating, Zari felt the urge to enjoy the blue-green colored stream. She grabbed Ava’s hand and dragged her towards the bank. Ava’s heart beat faster and faster that she had to breathe through her mouth while running. 

Zari let go of Ava’s hand and walked into the shallow. She splashed the water to her face. “It’s cold!” Zari yelled before stepping back to get out of the water. The stream was roaring. Ava was certain that it wasn’t safe to walk across the rapid stream. Sunlight reflected on the ripples of water, making it look like flowing aquamarines. Ava rested her hands on her knees, taking her time to catch her breath. 

“Is the sea the same color as this?” The girl asked, pointing at the water. Ava walked a few steps closer to her. They weren’t similar. The sea was bluer. 

She didn’t get to give Zari her opinion. She heard footsteps on pebbles approaching them from behind. Ava rolled her eyes, knowing exactly who was following them. 

“You are not allowed to be this far from our group. Predators usually wait near a stream to attack animals that come to drink water.” Sara said sternly. Maybe the woman thought coldness could hide her anger towards Ava. It couldn’t. 

Ava pressed her lips, turning around to face Sara. “Why don’t you just chain me. That would be a lot easier for you. No need to pretend I’m a guest when in reality I’m a prisoner.” Maybe she said it too loud, because she felt like her chest was empty. A wave of pain started throbbing around her head. Her breathing was shortened. 

But Ava didn’t look away, showing no fear. Ava saw Sara straighten her back, her gaze on Ava couldn’t be read. Speaking of the color of the Astorian Sea, Zari could see it in those eyes. 

The quiet moment between them lasted for a few short breaths. Then, a smirk formed on Sara’s lips. “We forgot to bring chains, otherwise I would’ve definitely done it. I didn’t expect that a princess would be so untamed.” 

Ava clenched her teeth, she wasn’t aware that her fingers were digging into her palms. But before she could find the right retort that expressed how much she despised the brutality of the Nanda Parbat people, the sight in front of her turned blurry. A surge of nausea rose from the pit of her stomach. She panted heavily before the world turned upside down. 

She didn’t fall on the sharp rocks but a pair of arms. “Oh crap! What the hell!” It was Zari. The hand cupping her face was wet. Ava’s eyes lost focus but she heard frantic movements near her. 

“Mountain sickness.” Sara sounded out of breath. A hand was placed on the pulse point on Ava’s neck.

“Get me the biggest horse! Take off the saddle!” 

Ava couldn’t clearly see what was happening. Her chest was heaving. She tried to calm her heart by taking deep breaths. A few minutes went by and her sight was restored. Sara was bending over her, shielding her from the sun. Her blue eyes widened. Ava tried to prop herself up. 

“Easy.” Sara placed her hand on Ava’s shoulder, stopping her from moving. 

The biggest horse they had was now in front of them. Ava noticed that most of the horses that the Nanda Parbat soldiers rode were small compared to the horses commonly used in Astore. This one was as big as a young Friesian horse. 

Sara got up. She grabbed the neck of the horse and threw her right leg up to mount the horse bareback. Soldiers quickly piled up the luggage on the side of the horse. 

Ava whimpered when a tall soldier quickly lifted her up. He climbed the pile of luggage and placed her on the horseback in front of Sara. It wasn’t comfortable sitting on a horse without a saddle, but Ava understood that they had to take it off for double riding. 

Before Ava’s body could fall forward, one of Sara’s arms looped around her waist, making sure she was secured on the horse. “We will go down to where we were last night. Your body is too weak for the current level of elevation. Relax, rest your back on me. I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

Ava felt the softness and warmth against her back. No matter how much she wanted to get herself out of Sara’s arm, she didn’t have enough strength to protest. Her head was still throbbing. 

“We’re going back to Kaghan! Shaden, proceed to the palace and tell Nyssa we will arrive at least two weeks late.” Sara commanded the group before turning the horse, heading towards the south. The way she addressed the duchess was quite telling. 

+++++++

Ava breathed out softly before opening her eyes to the late afternoon sky. The glowing sun was barely above the mountain range. Snow covered mountain peaks glowed with the tint of orange. She flicked her eyes up and saw a profile of a beautiful face. The blue eyes look paler under the eyebrows that turned more golden in the warm light. Ava felt a wobble in her stomach. She made sure to keep the distance between herself and Sara as much as she could, but her effort was futile. Her body rejected her will. She fell asleep and now she realized that she was resting her face on the crook of Sara’s neck. 

“We will be there before sundown. You can sleep more.” Sara’s warm breath fell on Ava’s temple. The horse moved at a careful speed. Riding downhill on a rough trail, Ava felt a sway. She let out a quiet gasp when she realized that Sara’s arm was still wrapped around her, holding her in place while using her other hand to guide the horse.

Ava’s eyes caught a cheeky grin. Zari was riding alongside them. She raised her eyebrows at Ava. This girl wouldn't have qualified to be a royal servant if she were in Astore. Ava sensed how Sara’s body tensed before she urged her horse to go quicker. Ava wished she could fall asleep again. It would be easier that way. She didn’t want to feel the arm tighten around her every time they encountered the difficult parts of the trail. Ava wiggled herself, trying to set her back straight. 

“Don’t block my visibility.” Sara tilted her head to the side to see the path.

Ava crouched her back, ducking her head down. She wanted to argue that it’s Sara’s fault that she was too short, but she decided to save her words for later. Her head still felt hazy.

“Feeling better?” Sara’s voice was softer than usual. There’s no need to raise her voice. Ava was literally sitting in her arms.

Ava checked herself. The headache wasn’t prominent, but her head still felt heavy. Her breathing wasn’t shortened anymore. 

“There’s a good chance I will throw up on you.” Ava muttered. She felt a vibration of a scoff from Sara’s throat. 

“That’s fine, Your Highness.” 

Ava sighed. Something was blooming in her chest and her body needed to let it out. The sun was falling lower and lower, leaving the deep pink - orange hue while approaching the horizon. It was the beautiful view that wore her off. She didn’t have enough strength to find more words. She let herself fall against Sara’s front again. The arm around her gently tightened, barely noticeable. The path where they were right now was not steep. 

+++++++

The camp was already set before they arrived. Sara had sent one of her soldiers ahead to let the group behind them know and prepare for their stay. The flickering light from the bonfire casted the shadow of a soldier guarding the entrance onto the floor of her tent. Ava was with Sara at the low table. A bowl of boiled potatoes was in front of her. The steam was floating above the bowl. A soldier walked into the tent and placed a plate of an unknown meat in the middle of the table. 

“Where’s Zari?” Ava asked, hoping that Sara didn’t notice how nervous she was without Zari’s presence. It was weird having dinner alone with Sara.

“Zari was tired. She already had dinner and went to bed.” She told Ava while pulling a dagger from its sheath. Ava’s body stiffened at the sight of the weapon. It looked well worn. Ava couldn’t imagine how many wounds it had inflicted. How many lives surrendered to its owner. 

Sara started cutting the big chunk of meat into small pieces, using one of her hands to secure the meat on the plate. She took her time to make sure they were small enough. 

“Now you can eat it.” She licked her fingers before using the tip of the knife to pick one of the pieces and put it in her mouth. “It’s good.” She chewed the meat. The meat juice dripped down at the corner of her lips. Sara slipped her tongue out to lick it. Ava quickly averted her gaze down to the bowl in front of her. 

Without asking for permission, Sara dumped half of the meat into Ava’s bowl. Ava frowned before flicking her eyes up to meet a stern gaze. 

“Your body needs real food.” It sounded definite. Ava let out a huff but this time she didn’t protest. She used her fork to pick up a small piece of the meat. She tentatively chewed it. It tasted and smelled intense, but it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. 

“Good.” Sara nodded before pouring the warm tea into a cup and put it in front of Ava. “Ginkgo tea. It helps.” She continued eating her food. But everytime Ava hesitated to put another piece of the meat into her mouth, she met with a disapproving glare. 

Sara finished her dinner long before Ava did. But she didn’t go anywhere, waiting, making sure Ava ate enough. By the time her plate was empty, Ava felt a bit drowsy. The tent was warm and comfortable. A soldier came in and cleared out the table.

Sara got up. “See you tomorrow. Don’t worry about the travel. We have to stay here for a week for your body to acclimate.” 

Her eyes were on Ava for a moment. The cracking noises of the bonfire, somehow, made the silence feel quieter. Ava almost heard a soft sigh before Sara turned her back towards her and walked away. Sara’s figure was small, but her shoulders squared. The way she carried herself was noble. A true leader. Sara could be a perfect queen of Nanda Parbat. Ava rubbed her eyes with the base of her palm to wake herself up a bit. 

+++++++++

The cracking noise from the bonfire was louder and louder in her colorless dream. Ava’s heavy eyelids lazily opened to the tent that wasn’t completely dark. She swallowed, feeling the dryness in her throat. Slowly, she propped herself up, tucking her hair behind one of her ears. The hem of her nightgown was folded up above her knees. She unrolled it to cover her legs. She pulled the fur blanket to cover herself, taking a moment to feel the softness of the blanket. She needed some water. Ava carefully got out of the bed to find the jar of water. The dim yellow light was enough for Ava to see the shapes of things in the tent. 

She paused her movement. She squinted her eyes, trying to make sense of the silhouette of a body sitting on a cushion, resting her head on the table. Ava placed her next step carefully, didn’t want to wake her up before she got close enough. 

Ava stood still in front of the sleeping woman. The light shone from the entrance of the tent was enough to see how peaceful Sara looked while she was sleeping. A few strands of her hair stuck on her cheeks. She didn’t look like a warrior. Ava didn’t know why she was here instead of sleeping in her own tent. Ava didn’t really care to know. 

Her eyes moved to Sara’s arm and noticed there was a folded piece of paper in her hand. She didn’t get to see what it was. A gust of wind blew outside and the tent door was flapping for a short moment. Sara stirred and propped her head up from the table. As soon as she noticed Ava, she quickly put the piece of paper in the pocket of her jacket. She looked flustered.

Ava squinted her eyes, curious, folding her arms over her chest. She tilted her head, her soft curled hair fell to the front of her face. 

“Why don’t you sleep in your tent?” 

Sara’s mouth slightly parted. She blinked a few times as if she was searching for the right words. “Mountain sickness can be deadly.” She uttered with her dry voice. The way she framed her answer was quite annoying. It left out the true meaning behind it. Behind the simple sentence, there lay the truth that Ava’s death would bring her troubles and make Ra’s Al Ghul’s plan futile. 

Ava swallowed a lump in her throat. “Wouldn’t it be less complicated if I was killed by an inevitable cause? The royal marriage would be cancelled.” It left a bitter taste at the back of her throat. 

Sara’s eyebrows tied together while those blue eyes glared at Ava. Her nostrils flared, her jaw set. 

“You shouldn’t die before you meet her. She’s a good person.” Her tone wasn’t hardened, showing how she truly admired Ava’s soon-to-be bride. 

“If she’s that good, why don’t you marry her yourself?” Ava’s gaze didn’t falter. She looked into Sara’s eyes long enough to witness a glimpse of weakness. Sara sighed and averted her gaze to the floor. She got up and walked to the tent entrance. Maybe she wasn’t concerned about Ava’s sickness like she just told her.

Ava got herself a cup of water. Her head felt the lightness again. She put the cup down and walked back to her bed. 

++++++++

_ “Are you angry?” _

_ Sara tightened her jaw at the question. She didn’t turn her back from the window that faced the highest peak of Nanda Parbat. An avalanche was rolling down on the steep mountain, the noise it made roaring in the valley.  _

_ “Are you not?” Sara returned the question, still looking to the distance.  _

_ Nyssa walked to her side. She rested her back against the window frame, her beautiful eyes were on Sara’s face. “At least, she’s not a man.” Nyssa moved closer to her. She placed her hands on Sara’s shoulders and forced her to turn her body. A smirk formed on her face. “Are you jealous?” She lifted one of her perfect eyebrows to question Sara.  _

_ Sara frowned. “No, not like that.” _

_ Nyssa found her at the bazaar when she was little. She took her under her wings, giving her the chance to learn and become one of Nanda Parbat's best warriors. They grew up together, fell in love when they were old enough to know what it was. Then, time taught them that love could grow into respect and compassion, something that was less burning and less complicated. They were still close. Sara was still certain that she wouldn’t hesitate to risk her life to protect Nyssa.  _

_ “I just don’t like the idea of forced marriage. Your father wants you to spend the rest of your life with someone you don’t know. How does that make sense to you?”  _

_ Nyssa squeezed Sara’s shoulder and looked through the window. “It doesn’t. I just don’t have free will to choose. I grew up knowing that one day I would be forced to marry a man.”  _

_ She turned her gaze to Sara, her hand tracing up to the top of Sara’s head and ruffled her hair like she always did. It seemed like she tried to assure Sara that she was fine. But Sara clearly saw a glimpse of sadness in her eyes. _

_ Sara looked into her eyes. “And why does it have to be me? Why did you assign me to lead the escort? I don’t want to be a part of your father’s heartless political scheme.”  _

_ Nyssa sighed, her hand falling down from Sara’s head. “It’s not only you who don’t want the marriage to happen. Darhk wouldn’t want me to gain more influence in the court. Mercia wouldn’t like the idea of the alliance between Nanda Parbat and Astore.” She paused, making sure Sara gave her full attention. “I won’t trust anyone except you to keep her safe.”  _

_ The seriousness in Nyssa's eyes suddenly turned into a mischievous grin. “Oh, I rummaged through my old stuff yesterday and found something that might be useful for your mission.” She inserted her hand into the pocket inside her jacket lapel and brought out a piece of folded paper. Sara frowned, curious what it might be. Nyssa put the paper into her hand. The paper looked old. Sara carefully unfolded it.  _

_ She blinked her eyes when she saw a charcoal drawing of something, a girl, perhaps. The lines were simple. A circle of a face with two dots of eyes and an upward curve of a smile. Her long hair was poorly drawn, just a few long curly lines that started from the top of her head. The clothes were just a triangle of a dress. Her arms and legs were too thin. Her hands and feet were made of small oval shapes. It was the work of a child with small hands that barely knew how to use a pencil.  _

_ “I remember you drew it after our trip to Astore fifteen years ago. Is this Princess Ava?” _

_ Sara’s lips felt dry. She swallowed. It was. It was her childhood drawing of Princess Ava. She thought the princess was beautiful. And maybe that thought was the reason why she was angry.  _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft, right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks roguebeachcomber for beta this.

Sara’s hair flew with her swift movements. The Nanda Parbat soldier moved like rapid water, flowing and swirling when it hit the rocks on its way. In the middle of the clearing, Sara was dancing, using a stick to tap on the bodies of other soldiers who tried to defeat her. With precision, she hit everyone with slight touches, avoiding hurting them for nothing. The soldiers who didn’t join the fight made cheering noises. When the campsite turned quiet again, Sara was the last person standing in the middle of the clearing. She didn’t pant or show any sign of exhaustion.

Ava was sitting on a log in front of her tent, hands wrapping around a warm mug of tea. Zari was sitting next to her, a piece of bread that was coated with sugar was in her hand. Ava took another sip, observing how the Nanda Parbat soldiers started the next round of practice. It was boring. It’s been five rounds already and no one could beat their leader. 

“How long have you known her?” Ava asked Zari. 

“Are you interested in me?” Zari asked with the food stuffed in her mouth. She turned to Ava, giving her a smile, her cheeks full with food. “Or her?” 

Ava rolled her eyes. She wasn’t interested in any of them. “I’m just bored.” 

Ava’s gaze fell to the dirt ground, focusing on nothing. It’s been three days of not really doing anything. Everything was served to her tent. Luckily, she brought some of her books with her. Her mother told her that it would be difficult to find books in a place like Nanda Parbat. The problem was Ava didn’t really like rereading books. One might say a good book could give its readers new wisdom every time it was reread. But Ava thought most of the wisdoms were just common sense. Ava spent most of her time in her tent. Zari came to chat with her when she wanted to. Sara didn’t bother her that much. All she did was make sure Ava had food and check on her if she was sick, which was quite annoying. Ava didn’t like it when she was treated like a child. She took another sip from the mug.

“My father sent me to the palace just a month ago. I don’t really know her well. A lot of the maids think she’s cute though.” 

_ Cute? _ No way that cocky and demanding woman would fit the definition of cuteness. 

Two feet stepped on the ground in front of her. Ava heard Zari swallow her food. She flicked her eyes up. Sara was standing with her hands behind her back, the posture of authority. Her father, the king of Astore, once taught her that one might be able to mask their weakness with that posture. 

“My soldiers will try to get a wash basin from the village nearby. It won’t be anything luxurious like what you are used to. But at least you can wash yourself.” She paused, lowering herself down and sitting on her heels. Her face was now on the same level as Ava’s. Her cheeks were flushed because of the training, sweats shimmering on her forehead. “Does a princess from a civilized kingdom know how to clean herself? I heard that Astorians aristocrats were so spoiled that they didn’t know how to do simple tasks without help from servants.” She raised one of her eyebrows. A faint smirk formed on her lips. 

Ava pressed her lips tight. Mockery must be something the Duchess of Nanda Parbat enjoyed. Ava shook her head slightly. Boredom was tiring enough. She didn’t need this nonsense antagonism. She got up and straightened her back. Her eyes drooped down just slightly to meet those blue eyes.

“Like it or not, soon enough, I will be your future queen. You should start learning how to treat me like one.” Ava turned around and returned to her tent. It was harsh. She said something she knew that would hurt Sara. But this whole arranged marriage wasn’t her fault. Sara might act calm and cool in front of her soldiers, but the way she acted towards Ava was childish. 

++++++

It was weird having Zari in her tent while she was washing herself with a piece of washcloth. But somehow, knowing that there were men guarding outside of her tent while she didn’t have any clothes on, Zari’s presence was comforting.

“Do you want to wash yourself too?” Ava asked while drying her skin with a towel. She wouldn’t mind Zari using the same basin. 

Zari shook her head. “They got one for me too.” She moved closer to Ava, side-eyeing the tent entrance. “Sara’s not here at the moment. Do you want to have some fun?” The girl whispered, trying to keep her voice as low as possible. The excitement in her eyes looked almost comical. 

Ava put on her undergarment. “What do you mean?” She frowned, asking under her breath. 

Zari grabbed her stachel and took out a black collar shirt and a black jacket. They were the Nanda Parbat soldier uniform. “I’m bored. Let’s go check out the village.” 

Ava raised her eyebrows at the idea. Ava was never a troublemaker who found joy in breaking rules, and judging from the number of soldiers charged with escorting her, it wouldn’t be easy to sneak out. 

“You just have to change your clothes and cover your face. I will deal with the guards myself. Trust me, they won’t kill you if they find out.” Zari put the stolen soldier's clothes on Ava’s bed. 

Ava narrowed her eyes. That made sense. If they really wanted her to marry Nyssa, they wouldn’t kill her. Moreover, the idea that she could do something against Sara Lance’s authority was quite tempting. It might be worth a try. Ava took a moment before reaching her hand for the black clothes. 

Zari grinned cheek to cheek. She gave Ava a thumb up before exiting the tent. Ava quickly changed into the soldier uniform. She had to press her lips tight to prevent herself from laughing. Zari was telling the guards that Ava felt uncomfortable having men standing just outside her tent while she was naked. Poor them. Zari called them perverts and threatened them she would tell Sara if they insisted on making Ava feel uncomfortable. 

A moment later, Zari returned into her tent. She nodded, telling Ava to follow her. Ava’s heart beat a little faster, realizing how excited she was. For a short moment, the thought of her hopeless future faded away. Right now, her parents couldn’t tell her what to do. Her brother couldn’t look at her like she was his rival. It might be a silly thing, but it tasted like freedom. 

Zari told Ava to walk like Sara - quick pacing with squared shoulders. It seemed like the servant knew all the blind spots of the campsite. She avoided being too close to other soldiers and led Ava out of the camp with ease. Ava blew out a breath she was holding when the campsite disappeared from her sight. They were far enough. Ava laughed a little, pulling the black scarf that covered half of her face down. The path running along the edge of the mountain was clear. Tiny white wildflowers grew among the grasses that covered the mountain slope. Ava noticed a herd of goats grazing the meadow. 

The faint chimes of cow bells floated in the wind, telling Ava that the village of Kaghan wasn’t far away. Zari told her that Sara chose to have their group stay just outside the village. She didn’t want to disrupt the villagers’ peaceful everyday life. 

Ava finally saw a cluster of houses built on a slope of the mountain. They all were made with woods and rocks and had dark grey gable roofs. The path cut across the village, leading Ava and Zari to the small square with stalls of shops. 

“It’s market day.” Zari’s eyes roamed the place. It was quite crowded for a small village. It wasn’t as vibrant as a bazaar in Astore, where traders from foreign lands met and sold the large arrays of goods. Here, the villagers sold mainly food, such as meat and dairy. There was one stall that sold linens. 

“Yes! More snacks.” Zari beamed when she saw a female merchant frying some sort of dough. She headed to the shop. Ava followed her, noticing that some people kept their eyes on them for a bit too long. It must be because of Ava’s soldier uniform. Zari herself was in the more refined clothes compared to what the villagers were wearing. 

When they were in front of the shop. Zari took out a coin from a pocket tied around her waist. She put it on the table and took one of the fried doughs. She let out a moan after taking a bite. 

The shop vendor looked at Zari in awe. “You came with a soldier. You must be the princess from Astore that everyone is talking about.” Ava lifted her eyebrows. She might have had the same conclusion if she were her. 

Zari tried to keep a straight face, clearly having a hard time containing her laughter. “You are right.” Zari nodded. “Can I get more of these?” She pointed at the food. 

The shop vendor smiled brightly. “Of course, Princess. Welcome to Nanda Parbat.” She took out a piece of linen and put three more of the fried doughs on it and wrapped them. Zari took them and thanked the woman before leading Ava to other shops. Ava noticed that Zari’s exchange with the shop vendor attracted some villagers' interests. 

They ended up at a tea shop. The owner invited them. They sat on the cushions he provided. The warm milk tea was served. Ava took a sip. It was milky and buttery. Tea leaves were boiled in goat milk and then mixed with butter. The smell of burning pine woods from the fireplace in the shop was comforting. 

“What is the sea like?” 

A girl asked Zari. The villagers, mostly women and kids, were now flocking around them. All of those curious eyes were on Zari. 

“Oh, it’s like a desert but wet.” Zari answered confidently. The girl’s eyebrows knitted together, trying to make sense of the fake princess’s answer. Ava shook her head a little. It seemed like Zari was having a good time. 

Ava kept her mouth shut, acting like a Nanda Parbat soldier. Listening to the villagers’ conversation, Ava could hear the hope in the way they talked about the increasing trade between Astore and Nanda Parbat. Kaghan was not far from the border. They hoped to make their village a trading post. 

The buzz of chatting was suddenly turned silent when a group of men arrived at the front of the shop with pitchforks in their hands. 

“Where’s the Astorian princess! We will get our revenge!” A burly man in the group yelled with his rough voice. The crowd around Zari and Ava quickly found their way out of the shop. 

“Holy shit.” Zari grimaced. Without explanation, she grabbed Ava’s arm and dragged her to get up. “Do you know how to fight?” She asked in a low voice. 

Ava didn’t get to answer. Zari threw an opened kettle of hot tea to the group of men. The hot tea spilled and some of them moved away. She heard screams from the villagers outside. The tea kettle hit the ground. A man in the back of the group lunged towards Zari. Ava quickly stepped in front of her and grabbed the pitchfork handle and pushed it to the side. She swirled her body to hit the man’s throat with her elbow. He fell to the ground while Zari took the chance to run to the shop entrance. Ava followed her, not knowing what was going on. 

Ava stopped running when she saw a herd of goats in front of them. She wasn’t sure if the animals were aggressive. She looked over her shoulder again. The angry villagers were approaching them. 

“Catch them!” A man yelled from behind Ava, telling the goatherder to help them catch Ava and Zari. The boy was baffled. He looked at Zari and then craned his neck to look at the angry villagers. 

“Hurry!” Zari grabbed Ava’s hand and ran into the middle of the herd of goats. The animals cried, their noise mixing with the angry yelling from the villagers.The goats ran to different directions. Some of them ran towards the villagers, slowing down their pace a bit. 

When they were out of the village, instead of following the road back to their camp, Zari dragged Ava into the pine forest on the roadside. There was a trail leading them down the slope of the mountain. Ava was worried that it might be too dangerous, but it seemed like Zari knew what she was doing. The noises of rushing steps stomping on the forest ground were still following them.

“What the hell is happening?” Ava asked between her breathing. She was running with her mouth open, trying to find her way in between tree trunks and rocks.

“Probably the relatives of those who were killed by the Astorian troops a few weeks ago.” 

Ava felt a twist in her stomach. Her legs froze at the realization. These villagers deserved revenge. They had all the rights to ask for justice. The royal marriage didn’t return justice to them. Ra’s Al Ghul only used the conflict for his political gain. 

She didn’t stop for too long. Zari grabbed her hand and dragged her down the trail. “They’re not after you. They’re after me. I’m the one who’s gonna get killed.” 

++++++

Sara sighed, letting most of her body submerge in the cold water. Her sore muscles felt tingling. The shock on her skin was refreshing. It had been almost a week since she was able to clean herself properly. Bathing was a luxury during the journey. Luckily, Kaghan had a spring that flowed into a small shallow pool. She dipped her head under the clear blue water, then emerged above the water surface again. She used her hand to wipe her eyes. 

She hoped the cold water made everything clearer. She remembered the moment she learned that Ra’s Al Ghul demanded the marriage between Nyssa and the Astorian princess, her mind was a bit hazy. The memory of the tall princess whose face always frowned flashed in her mind. She didn’t really remember what she was like. But she remembered who she was. The weak princess who was brave enough to intervene in the fight between two teenage boys. Sara also remembered how she couldn’t stop talking about the princess on their way back to Nanda Parbat. Nyssa was so nice that she still let Sara stay in her tent. Listening to a little kid bringing up the word  _ Princess Ava _ whenever she could must be tiring.

An uneasy feeling coiled in her stomach when she learned that she was assigned to escort the princess to Nanda Parbat. She’s supposed to feel like that. But if she was honest, she wasn’t sure if it was only about her stance against arranged marriage. She thought about it a lot, too often, actually. And she felt a twist in her chest every time. It was something between excitement and fear. The curiosity to see how the princess had grown up mixed with the thoughts of the potential of disappointment. These feelings bothered her, making her forget that people who weren’t born in the high mountains might have trouble with the lack of air. Sara remembered how scared she was when the princess fainted and fell into Zari’s arms.

Sara let herself float in the water. Her body felt lighter, but not as light as the moment she noticed that the princess fell asleep in her arms. Fifteen years later, Princess Ava was still the same. Still weak and didn’t seem to enjoy anything, still grumpy. Still beautiful. 

_ “Like it or not, soon enough, I will be your future queen.”  _

The simple sentence that pierced her chest echoed in her mind again. Her thought kept going back to what the princess said to her this morning. Her body felt heavy and her feet touched the ground. She shouldn’t think of the future queen too much. She let out a dry chuckle. Nyssa and the princess would look good together. Maybe they were meant to be each other’s life partner. Maybe this whole political scheme was good for Nyssa. Maybe they would fall in love. It wasn’t difficult.

Sara closed her eyes and took a deep shaky breath, inhaling the faint menthol scent of the fresh bunch of wormwoods that she left on the side of the pool. Right now, she just needed to focus on keeping the princess safe and comfortable. Again, it was her fault that she didn’t have a healer in the group. She had to spend hours searching for medicinal plants that might come in handy during their long journey. She got wormwoods, pindrow firs, and importantly, nardin roots. The plant was rare. The oil from nardin roots was the best cure for mountain sickness. 

Sara swam back to the side of the pool to get the bar of soap that she left on top of her clothes. She rubbed the soap with water and started cleaning herself. She didn’t really have time to enjoy the warm earthy scent of cedar wood. She had to make it quick. She trusted her soldiers. She handpicked all of them for the mission. But somehow, it didn’t feel right being away from the princess for this long. 

“Sara!” 

A scream of her name interrupted her peaceful moment. It was Zari. Sara’s head snapped to the direction of the rustling noise of running steps on dry leaves. Her eyes widened when she saw Princess Ava in a Nanda Parbat soldier uniform running through pine forest towards her. Behind them were a group of men carrying pitchforks. 

She threw the soap to the side of the pool and quickly got herself out of the water. But maybe she wasn’t quick enough, because now Princess Ava and Zari were standing only a few feets from her. The princess froze while her eyes roamed up and down the length of Sara’s naked body. She let out a huff before picking up her cloak and quickly wrapped it around herself. 

“They…” Zari was panting. “They’re gonna kill me.”

“Wha..” Sara didn’t finish her sentence. She saw a rock flying from the group of villagers. Without thinking, she pushed Zari to the side and grabbed the princess arm, pulling her down and turning herself, using her body to shield the princess from the attack. She felt a sharp impact on the side of her head. She gritted her teeth before standing up facing the angry villagers. Another rock was thrown at her but she caught it with her hand. The men in the front of the group stepped back when he noticed who she was. His eyes bulged in fear. 

“General Lance?” She heard a man utter her name. 

“I will kill you all.” Sara snarled. The villagers dropped their pitchforks, frantically running back to the direction where they came from. Of course, she wouldn’t kill them. Unlike Ra's Al Ghul, she didn’t like killing. But her reputation as one of the best warriors of Nanda Parbat was enough to generate fear. 

The villagers were gone out of her sight in no time. She heard Zari groan while she was getting up from the ground. Sara took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before turning around to face the princess. 

A warm hand touched the side of her head just lightly. “Gosh, you are bleeding.” The princess said with a frantic voice.

Sara felt a sting. Reflexively, she tilted her head away from the touch. The princess’s hand fell down to her side. 

“Why are you here and why did they come after you, Your Highness?” Sara tried her best to not show how her heart was pounding, thinking of what might have happened to the princess if she hadn’t been here. She saw a glimpse of guilt in the princess’s eyes. But it disappeared quickly.

“I just wanted to see the village.” 

Sara clenched her hands and turned to Zari who smiled sheepishly. “And you didn’t stop her?” 

“It’s not Zari’s fault.” The princess quickly defended her servant. “If you want to punish someone just to lift up your mood. It’s me, not her.” Her eyes were cold. And it drove Sara to the edge every time. 

“You stole my soldier’s clothes. In Nanda Parbat, we punish thieves by cutting their hands.” 

“Don’t listen to her.” Zari interrupted. She moved to stand on Ava’s side. “They don’t do anything like that.” 

The princess looked confused. Zari glared at her. She hated that Zari knew her too well. Sara huffed out a breath through her flared nostrils. She let the cloak fall from her body. Zari rolled her eyes. The princess quickly turned her back towards her. Sara lowered herself to pick up her clothes. 

++++++++

The camp glowed with the light from the fire at the center of the camp. The sky above the mountain ridge was painted with the dying glow of the falling sun. Ava was sitting with Zari in front of her tent. A low table with warm food was set in front of them. Sara hadn’t come out of her tent since they arrived at the camp after the incident. She didn’t join the dinner and make sure Ava ate enough like usual. 

“How is her wound?” She was done eating. Absentmindedly, she used a stick to scratch the ground in front of her. 

“I don’t know. She didn’t let anyone come in her tent. Don’t worry. She knows how to take care of herself.” 

The stick snapped. Ava pressed it too hard against the ground. She wasn't worried about her. 

A soldier walked to the fire and picked up a grilled meat skewer. He put it on a tray before pouring the hot water from a kettle into a mug. A warm flat bread was cut to pieces and arranged on the tray. He got up, hesitated for a moment before taking the tray to Sara’s tent. Ava’s eyes followed his movement. At least Sara would have something to eat. 

“She might let you in.” Zari said without looking at Ava. She was tearing a piece of meat on her plate. “I mean, technically, she’s your subject.” 

The soldier returned from Sara’s tent, carrying the tray of food to his group. Ava shook her head, exasperated. Sara Lance was just a stubborn child. Ava pressed her lips tight. Sara must hate her so much that she acted nonsensical. Of course, how could she not. 

Zari raised her eyebrows when Ava got up and walked towards Sara’s tent. It was Ava’s fault that Sara got hit by a stone. At least, she had to make sure she had food. 

“I said leave me alone.” 

Ava stopped at the tent door for a moment, unsure if her next action was necessary. She sighed and stepped into the tent. 

“I said…” When those tired blue eyes met her, the sentence was cut. The tent wasn’t dark. There were some candles burning on a makeshift wood tray. Sara was in a black tunic, sitting on her bed with her legs crossing. A piece of paper on her lap. A charcoal pencil was in one of her hands. She quickly put them under her blanket. She was hiding something, but Ava didn’t need to know what it was. 

“Your Highness.” She addressed Ava's presence. Candle light gleamed on her pale face. The dark grunge of blood was still apparent on the side of her head.  _ Reckless _ . Ava didn’t understand why Nanda Parbat sent Sara Lance to escort her. 

Ava tentatively took a few more steps towards the bed. “Why don’t you eat? Why don’t you clean your wound.” 

Sara didn’t respond for a moment. Of course, her action was nonsense. It must be hard to find an explanation. She licked her dried lips. “I’m not hungry. I will eat later tonight.” 

Ava scoffed. “Not being able to cut my hands makes you lose your appetite?” 

Sara’s jaw hardened at Ava’s words. Then she closed her eyes for a moment. It seemed like it took every ounce of her to not show her anger. She opened her eyes again, this time they were fixed on Ava. “You are just like other foreigners, just like typical Astorians.”

Ava frowned. She didn’t like the bitter smile on Sara’s face. 

“You call us barbarians because someone told you. You never met us before and were ready to judge who we are. Astore has been thriving with all the rumors that kept us away from the sea just to reap the high tariff from my people.” 

Ava’s mouth parted, eyes blinking but never lost the contact with Sara’s. She was lost for words. Sara was right, being an Astorian was almost synonymous with fearing Nanda Parbat. Parents told their children about these scary mountaineers. The priests gave sermons by using them as the example of sinful deeds. The king, her father, used them to justify conscription.

Ava swallowed. Those blue eyes that had the glint of candle light in them turned away from her. Sara looked at her own hands. “You don’t even see me as a person.” 

Ava’s gaze fell to the floor, tongue too heavy to apologize. She wasn’t sure if she had too. Everything woven around them was too complicated to make sense in a short time. She being forced to have a life she didn’t want, Sara being forced to break her own heart, and the Kaghan villagers who lost their loved ones. 

She didn't quite understand what she was doing, but it was easier than thinking and talking. Ava walked to the table in the tent, pouring the water from the jar into a bowl. She took it to Sara’s bed, placing it on the space in front of Sara. She took out her handkerchief from her pocket and soaked it in the bowl. She was aware of the eyes that followed her movement but she didn’t stop what she was doing. She ignored the sparks of curiosity in Sara’s eyes and used the damp cloth to clean the dry blood on Sara’s head. Sara winced but didn’t stop Ava. Warm earthy scent of cedar wood almost made her hand falter. 

Ava noticed that Sara’s breath became more gentle. Candle flames were flickering, the light dancing on Sara’s smooth skin. Ava kept her face stern despite the warmth she felt on her cheeks when she saw a faint smile from the corner of her eye. Sara didn’t even try to look anywhere else. The tent was quiet enough that tiny movements were audible -- the swallowing, the rustling of bedsheets, and the dripping water.

Carefully, Ava washed away the impurities and dry blood, but the wound wasn’t a thin cut. She clenched her teeth. Her eyes caught bunches of herbs that Sara carried back to the camp laying at a corner in the tent. 

She put the damp cloth in the bowl. “Can someone get me clean linen stripes and a tray?” She said loud enough for the guard to hear. One of them quickly left his spot. Ava turned her eyes back to Sara. The way she looked at Ava was different. It was free from mockery and bitterness. It was as if Ava’s presence was rare and she took the opportunity to drink in as much as she could. Ava cleared her throat. It worked. Sara blinked and flicked her eyes down to the bowl in front of her. 

The soldier returned to the tent with a wooden tray and stripes of linens. Ava dismissed him. She took a bunch of wormwoods and used the tray and a mug to crush the plant until it became a paste. She applied the aromatic paste on Sara’s wound. Sara hissed at the contact of the natural antiseptic and her open skin. Ava carefully wrapped the linens around Sara’s head to cover her wound. 

When the hem of the linen was tucked securely. Ava couldn’t find a reason to be in the tent anymore. She noticed how Sara curled her fingers when she got up from the bed and took the bowl to the table. She didn’t look back at Sara. She headed to the tent entrance. 

“Your Highness.” 

Ava stopped. Her eyebrows knitted together at something tugged at her chest. Something that wasn’t quite right. 

“Thank you, Your Highness.” Sara’s voice cracked, as if it was difficult to say the simple words.

Ava let out a huff. She turned her feet around, her jaw set. “Does it help?” She asked with a hardened voice. “Does calling me  _ your highness _ make it easier for you to be indifferent?”

Ava saw bafflement resolved into gloom. Sara looked away. “I have to.” The soldier said quietly. 

The frown on Ava’ face was deepened. There were more than one meaning in those three words, and Ava’s head couldn’t wrap around any of them. The obvious one was that Sara had to be cold so she could treat Ava without her emotions. But there was something -- something nagging, something repulsive that was hiding but crying to manifest. 

Ava’s heart was beating faster like when she saw Sara’s beautiful physique for the first time. It wasn’t like when she was short of breath. Mountain sickness wasn’t warm. 

Ava left the tent. She couldn’t stand it.

++++++++++

Ava indulged in her memory of warm sun and the feeling of her bare feet on the fine sand of Astorian beach. Her vision was fading around the edge. She didn’t see the sea clearly and couldn’t make out if it was day or night. 

She almost believed it was real and the whole royal marriage mess was a long bad dream, but the soft rustling noise approaching wasn’t that of the waves hitting the shore. With her eyes still closed, Ava quickly reached her hands up. One of them squeezed the neck of someone, her other hand grabbed the side of the body hovering above her. Ava rolled her body and heard a heavy thud on her mattress. 

When her eyes adjusted to the dim light in the tent, she found herself hovering over a woman, her hands pinning the small body to the mattress. Blue eyes were on her. She could feel a swallow under her fingertips on the woman’s neck. 

“You know how to fight.” Sara said with a hoarse voice. Ava reflexively released her neck. 

“I’m not weak.” She took a moment to look into those eyes, making her point. “Why are you here anyway? An assasination attempt?” Ava asked nonchalantly, straightening her back, sitting up right on the bed. 

Sara got up and got out of the bed, standing in front of Ava with her arms crossing over her chest. She wasn’t in her black soldier uniform. She was in a white linen dress with a pattern of red thread embroidered on the collar, the shoulders, and the hem of the dress that was long enough to cover the top half her shins. A red rope was tied around her waist. It looked simple like what a village girl would wear. The wound on her head was still covered by the linen Ava wrapped around her head last night. Ava started to get why some people might think General Lance was cute. It wasn’t a surprise that this girl owned the heart of the Duchess of Nanda Parbat. 

“You said you wanted to see Kaghan. Get changed and meet me in front of your tent.” Sara said before picking up a small tray of candles she took with her. She turned around and left Ava with darkness. Ava frowned. From what she saw through the tent door, it was still dark outside. 

Ava changed into a comfortable dress, the one that she thought wouldn’t attract the villagers’ attention. She was still groggy, but she was curious. She met Sara at the front of her tent. The dawn hadn’t arrived yet. The sky was still dark with the twinkles of stars. The trail of the Milky Way was visible across the night sky. 

Sara had a satchel hanging over one of her shoulders, a burning torch in one of her hands, leading Ava to the road to the village. It was a bit weird that it was just them alone. Zari was still sleeping and Sara didn’t order some of her soldiers to join their early morning walk. They didn’t talk. Sara’s steps were quick as usual. Her pace was impressive for someone who had short legs. 

The village was barely awake when they arrived at the square. Lanterns were lit up in front of some of the houses. Roosters crowed once in a while, telling her that the dawn was coming. Sara didn’t stop. They walked until the glow of the village was left behind. They entered a wide trail that cut through a field of crops on the slope of the mountain. Ava didn’t know what the plants were. Their stems were taller than Ava. Despite the tinge of light where the sky met the mountain, it was still too dark to really see what the plants were like. 

“There.” 

Sara stopped walking, pointing her finger to the east where the sky glowed in between two mountain peaks. Ava’s eyes followed Sara’s finger. The trail was like a tunnel with the golden light at its end. 

“It rises quickly. Don’t miss it.” Sara said softly. She put out the fire on the tip of the torch by pressing it on the dirt ground. When she got up again. It was only the newly born sunrise that lit her face. 

The sky was lit up with the deep pink pigment seeping up from below until it turned golden. Ava narrowed her eyes. Only a few minutes passed by and the sun was too bright to look at. Colors were brightened on the field with every inch the sun traveled upward. Ava’s breath hitched, realizing that she was standing in the middle of the field of red flowers. The plants had inflorescences densely packed with tiny deep crimson flowers, some were pointing up like flaming fountains, some were cascading down from the top of their stems like tassels. The sun returned the bright blue to the eyes of the woman on her side too. Ava wasn’t sure which color was more beautiful to look at.

“Amaranths are staple crops here. The bread that you had at our camp was made from amaranth seeds.” Sara turned towards her. She smiled with pride of her motherland. It was genuine. It lit up a warm feeling in the middle of the space between them. 

The gentle wind swayed the loose strands of Sara’s hair that looked more golden in the morning light. Ava’s chest felt tight. The way Sara’s lips parted a little told her that she wasn’t the only one whose breathing was quickened. 

Ava tugged her lower lip with her teeth lightly before releasing it. “How is your wound?” Ava was glad she found something to say. 

Sara quickly averted her eyes from her as if she was just out of a trance. She took out the satchel from her shoulder, sitting down on the ground and opening it. 

“Let’s have breakfast.” She told Ava while unfolding a thin blanket to cover the ground. She set up two plates. A comforting scent of coffee lazily painted the air when Sara opened the bottle in her hand. 

Ava sat down on the blanket, wondering if the sun would look at them too. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Nanda Parbat in the canon is Petra in Jordan. It's in the desert. But the name Nanda Parbat is from Nanga Parbat, a peak of the Himalayas. So the settings in this story is kind of inspired by Kashmir, Fairy Meadow, Nepal, and Alps. I kind of mixed them up. The traditional medicines mentioned in the chapters are real Kashmir remedies. The milk tea is sort of Nepali. But Kaghan's architecture is kind of Swiss (in my head. I know I didn't really go deep into the village settings). Anyway, I had a lot of fun. Hope you enjoy your day. If you catch COVID-19 I wish you quick recover. If you're still in good health, I'm happy for you guys.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks Roguebeachcomber for beta this. :)

The solemn wall stood across the width of the mountain pass. The group stopped while waiting for the iron gate to be opened. Light drizzling rain covered the peaks of mountains like a white curtain falling from the sky. The simplicity of Kaghan and the breathtaking landscape of the amaranth field seemed like a dream that contrasted with this gloomy reality. Fort Damir was the last stop before they headed to the palace where Ava’s fiancee was waiting for her. The city guards were on both sides of the gate. Ava sensed their eyes on her. But when her horse walked closer to them, they averted their eyes to the ground, clearly they knew who she was. Ava felt the weight in the pit of her stomach, thinking of how soon it was for her to lose the last strand of her freedom. Maybe the weather wore her off. She had tried not to think too much into her future because she didn’t have power to change it. But today, the said future that she tried to avoid was coming closer. It must be the weather, she thought, even Zari was quiet.

From a corner of her eyes, she sensed a horse walking closer to her. Ava didn’t have to turn her head to see whose horse it was. Sara Lance was always like this, always checked on her, always made sure Ava didn’t feel sick, always stepped down from her own horse to guide Ava’s horse when the path was challenging. 

“Fort Damir is safe enough. You will get to sleep in a room with a real bed. Food will be plenty. I am sure there will be something you like.” Sara Lance gave her the information that Ava didn’t really care to know. Her tone wasn’t authoritative, soft even. She must be tired. Or, maybe -- maybe it hit her too that the closer they were to the palace, the sooner the general had to surrender her heart to politics. 

“Am I supposed to be happy with that?” 

Ava didn’t turn to look at her, but she made sure her words were hardened around the edge. She almost -- almost enjoyed the way Sara had accompanied her to see the landscape of Nanda Parbat while they were in Kaghan, almost liked the feeling right before Sara told her to eat more when she stopped eating, almost letting her mind think that Sara's presence was strangely assuring. Ava almost forgot that she was anything but a royal hostage and Sara was just doing her job -- the job that she clearly didn’t enjoy. The growling of the iron gate closing behind the troop sounded like a foreshadow of her future -- of the marriage that meant to lock her away from the world she used to know.

“You will be safe, and that’s what matters.” Sara averted her gaze to somewhere else, her shoulders a bit stiffened. 

Right, that’s what mattered. Ava took a deep breath. She wasn’t weak. If she was destined to be the queen of Nanda Parbat, she would make the best out of it. She would try to save people from war. She would compensate those who had lost. She wouldn’t beg to be free. Ava’s breath hitched. Rationality felt suffocating.

Ava let her horse follow the group until they arrived at a small chateau-- an inn, perhaps. Sara quickly came to help her get off the horse. It was unnecessary, but Ava didn’t have energy to reject. On the steps of the building entrance, a middle age woman was standing among a group of small kids. 

“Sara!” A little girl shouted before running towards the general. She threw her tiny form into Sara’s arms. Sara quickly picked the girl up. “Dasha! You are taller, aren’t you?” Sara talked to her with a bright smile. Other kids followed the little girl and flocked around Sara.

Ava frowned. It was weird, because, suddenly, General Lance was surrounded by small kids. Sara Lance’s smile was wider than Ava had ever seen, not that she had seen her smile often. Ava was surprised that the cold hearted Sara Lance was capable of being with kids at all. With kids holding her hands, Sara was dragged inside the chateau. 

“Come on, Your Highness. It’s getting cold.” She turned to call Ava. That bright smile was still on her face. Ava didn’t move, and maybe her eyes were on them for too long, because Zari finally caught up with her. The servant had a smirk plastered on her face. Ava wouldn’t like what Zari was going to say. 

“Sara’s cute with kids, right?” Zari raised her eyebrows. Ava ignored her and started walking towards the entrance of the building.

“Welcome to Fort Damir, Your Highness. My name is Clara.” The middle-age lady bowed her head and gave Ava a gentle smile. Ava nodded, acknowledging the kind greeting. The hallway was filled with the noises of the kids excitedly talking to Sara. Ava even heard a soft giggle from the general. She narrowed her eyes, didn’t quite believe that Sara Lance was capable of laughing.

“Sara will be busy, Your Highness. The kids have missed her.” The middle-aged woman must have noticed the curiosity on her face. “She lived here at this orphanage until she was about six.” She continued while leading Ava to the dining hall. “I think everyone in Fort Damir knows about the story of the little girl who tried to steal from a band of royal entourage to feed her friends. She was taken to the palace and trained to become a great warrior.” The woman’s eyes were on Sara and the kids around her. “She always sends money and other things we need to run this orphanage. She visits us as often as she can. That’s why the kids were so excited to meet her.” The gentleness on her face was that of a mother who was proud of her child. 

Ava frowned, noting in her mind. Sara Lance wasn’t born in a noble family. She was an orphan who grew up to be a respectable soldier, a tough general loved by children. Ava chewed her lip. She didn’t like the feeling flaring in her chest.

+++++++

Streaks of gentle light shone through the big window in her room. Ava pressed her face against the soft pillow. It was clearly filled with the finest feathers. It smelled nice, almost sweet. The thin white curtains hanging from the canopy over the bed gave her some comfort and sense of security. The soft mattress was covered by a soft and clean satin bed sheet. It wasn't anything comparable to her room in Astore, but it was totally a lot better than sleeping in a tent. She had a good sleep. She woke up late enough for the room to be brightened by the sunlight. The room wasn’t big, but it was clean and carefully decorated. The lower part of the wall was painted with patterns of leaves and vines. Rugs with intricate patterns covered the floor. A tall silver candle holder was standing at a corner of the room. A simple painting of a church with a tall tower was hung above the fireplace. It wasn’t too much, but it wasn’t mundane either. Ava slowly got up, her messy hair flew over her shoulders. She stretched her body, letting out a soft moan before reaching for a jar of water on a nightstand. She poured the water into a mug.

A few soft knocks on the wooden door interrupted the warm ambience of the room. It must be Zari coming to fetch her for breakfast. 

“Come in.” She answered and the door was opened. A small chubby face peeked through. Innocent brown eyes twinkled. A little girl -- Dasha, if Ava wasn’t wrong, was walking with her short legs towards her bed, a tiny bouquet of flowers in her hand. Ava opened the curtain with her free hand while drinking from a mug.

“Oh..” The girl paused her steps when she finally saw Ava. “You slept with Sara? Where is she?” 

Ava choked on water. She put the mug down and coughed a few times before wiping the spilled water off her face. “What?” Ava raised her voice. 

“This is Sara’s room. I know that sometimes adults sleep together. Sara told me that sometimes they were afraid to sleep alone.” The girl still looked around with her innocent eyes. Ava’s felt the heat on her face, letting out a huff. If Sara Lance were here right now, Ava would have strangled her for talking to kids about _that_ topic. 

“I didn’t sleep with General Lance.” Her stomach felt a swoop saying it. “I slept here alone. She might be in another room.” 

“Oh…” Dasha pursed her lips for a moment. But then she lifted her head up and held the bouquet towards Ava. “We wanted to give flowers to Sara. But you are pretty. You can have them. It will protect you.” She looked at Ava. Those eyes told Ava how much the girl wanted her to accept it.

The bouquet didn’t look perfect. Dried lavenders, sages, and some white and yellow wild flowers that Ava didn’t know were tied together with a stripe of bark. Clearly it was created by small hands. Ava took it from the girl. A smile bloomed on Dasha’s chubby face. 

Dasha drew her hands back to herself, her fingers fidgeting with the hem of her shirt sleeves. “Are you hungry? I can show you the dining hall.” Dasha looked away. “You are a princess, right? I never met a princess before. I haven’t learned how to talk to a princess.” She said sheepishly.

Ava’s heart melted, she couldn’t help but smile at how nervous the girl was. She reached her hand to pet the girl’s head. “You can call me Ava.” 

“Really?” The girls’ eyes lit up.

“Yes. And I’d like to have you show me the way to the dining hall. Just give me a moment to change my clothes.” 

+++++++++

Ava wasn’t surprised to find Sara and Zari sitting at the dining table. Sara’s eyes were on her for a long moment when she noticed Ava walking in with Dasha. The soldier tore her gaze away when Dasha started running towards her. Sara gave her little friend a brief hug before getting up from her seat to pull the chair next to Zari’s for Ava. Dasha sat next to Sara.

“I have hands.” Ava mumbled to Sara, but she sat on the chair anyway. Sara didn’t respond. She acted like she didn’t hear it. 

“Good morning, Your Highness.” Clara walked to their table and gave Ava a gentle smile. “What do you like to have for breakfast?” She poured the hot tea into a cup in front of Ava. 

“Anything would be fine. Thank you.” Ava told the middle-aged woman. 

Sara raised her eyebrows at Ava, then turned to talk to Clara. “Her Highness doesn’t like meat. Bring her eggs, warm bread, potatoes, beans, and dried fruits.” 

Clara nodded and left the table. Ava’s eyes flicked up to glare at Sara for a second before she turned to Zari. “What’s your plan today? Are we going for a walk?” 

Zari smiled sheepishly. “Uh, I’m not allowed to explore the town with you.” 

“Last time it didn’t end well.” Sara said, eyes focused on her plate.

Ava let out a scoff. She saw Sara’s jaw clench before she told Dasha softly to go to sit with other kids. “I am concerned about your safety, Your Highness.” Her stern voice didn’t sound like she was really concerned. 

Zari reached her hand to Ava’s arm, but she was too late. Ava lifted her chin up. “I shall thank you, perhaps?” Ava’s voice was bitter. She was aware that she shouldn’t lose her calm. It wouldn’t do anything good for her. But, somehow, the way Sara talked, the way she looked at her, the way she tried to dictate what Ava should or should not do -- Sara made her pulse quicken and made her mind think too fast. Ava literally felt the heat igniting in her palms. 

Ava saw the way Sara’s nostrils flared before she looked away. Clara came back to their table with a big plate full of food for Ava. The woman placed it in front of her. 

“I am glad you are here, Your Highness. Who would have thought I would get a chance to serve our future queen. The duchess is lucky.” Clara said with her usual gentle smile before leaving Ava with the heavy reality.

Ava’s nails dug into her palms. She didn’t look at anyone and started to eat her breakfast. She didn’t care about the taste of the food. They all tasted dry and difficult to swallow, just like her future. 

“I will take you to see the rest of Fort Damir.” Sara broke the thick silence. 

Ava paused what she was doing, flicking her eyes up to meet Sara’s. She should’ve rejected the offer but she didn’t. Her breath was shortened for a second when she couldn’t find the reason why she didn’t say anything. 

And Sara took it as an agreement, because as soon as Ava finished her breakfast, she got up and filled her canteen with water and put a loaf of bread in her satchel. 

“Please, bring your cloak. It is windy outside. I will wait here.” Sara crossed her arms over her chest, looking at Ava with the usual cold gaze -- too cold, as if she made sure Ava wouldn’t be able to see what’s behind the icy blues. Ava didn’t quite understand why Sara offered to take her for a tour of her hometown at all when it was obvious that she didn’t like to do it. 

+++++++

Ava attached the tiny bouquet that Dasha gave her on the lapel of her jacket like a boutonniere.Then she put on her cloak around her shoulder. She figured wearing pants and jacket would be more appropriate than a dress when it came to a walk with Sara. The soldier seemed to prefer practical clothes. She walked down the stairs to find Sara standing in the middle of the hallway. Their eyes met. It took awhile for those beautiful eyes to tear away from hers. 

Beyond the stone fence surrounding the orphanage, buildings were scattered along the stone paved street that was cut along the edge of the mountain. White streams of smoke floated up from chimneys to the cloudy sky. The faint noises of something hitting on metal echoed from different directions. One of the sources of the noises was a blacksmith shop located near the square. Blazing flame was roaring in a fire pit. Heat flared outside of the shop. Various iron tools and weapons were shown. 

As soon as the female blacksmith noticed Sara, she stopped working and quickly came to greet the general. Sweat was shimmering on her beautiful face and her toned arms. She noticed Ava’s presence but she didn’t seem to be interested in her. Ava was glad that her visit to Fort Damir wasn’t well known among townsmen. Enthusiastically, the blacksmith showed a sword she made, offering it to the general as a gift. The sparkle in her light brown eyes was quite telling. Sara rejected the offer but commissioned her to make a set of arrows. 

Fort Damir was Sara’s home. The way men and women smiled and waved their hands at the general evidenced how much she was admired by her people. Maybe she acted cold only to Ava. 

They were outside until a food stall was blown away by a gust of wind. The cloud above the town turned grey. The earthy smell of humidity told Ava that the rainstorm was coming. The townsmen were hurriedly closing their stalls. Ava looked around. They were too far to go back to the orphanage. 

“We have to run if we don’t want to get soaked by the rain.” Sara told her. She didn’t look at Ava. She was looking for a shelter. Right before the first raindrop hitting Ava’s face, her hand was taken. “Follow me.” This time it didn’t sound like an order. 

Ava covered her head with the hood of her cloak. Sara’s long fingers wrapped around her right palm, pulling Ava to the direction of a small church with a bell tower. Ava recognized that it must be the same church depicted on a painting in the room she stayed in last night. 

Ava was relieved that they were under the porch roof of the church entrance when small hailstones started to hit the roof. Drops of cold water were lingering on Ava’s velvet cloak. Sara pushed the wooden door open. Her right hand was freed when both of them were inside the church. Ava was panting. Running in the high altitude wasn’t something she was used to. 

“Are you alright?” Those blues darkened in the dim hall that was lit only by the burning candles on a simple altar. 

Ava nodded. She found a seat and sat down. Sara took her water canteen out from her satchel and offered it to Ava. Ava accepted it. Her throat felt a bit dry from being outside for too long.

“Fort Damir is just like this. Unpredictable. The cold wind travels down from the snow peaks and meets the warm wind traveling up the slope of the mountain.” She found a seat not too far from Ava.

Ava drank enough before returning the water canteen to its owner. “I should’ve stayed at the orphanage. You could’ve spent your time with the children instead of wasting it on me.” Ava looked at her hands. She was rubbing them together to generate some heat. It took awhile for her to notice that Sara was quiet. Maybe this time she agreed with Ava. 

Ava heard a long sigh from Sara. She turned to her and found the woman folding her arms over her chest. Her head tilted forward a little. Her eyes didn’t focus on anything in front of her. 

“It was alright. Probably I won’t get a chance to spend -- to show you my hometown after we arrive at the palace.” Sara changed her choice of words mid sentence. Ava was wondering what was left unsaid. 

The hail shower was still hitting the church roof. The scent of wet stone mixed with the warm air of burned candles. Ava was supposed to miss the comfort provided at the orphanage. Zari was fun to hangout with. Warm food and drink were plenty there. It would have been a peaceful day. 

But should she count the sound of the storm and the ambience of a sacred place as a sign of peace? Didn’t she enjoy the calmness of her heart at the moment? When Sara was quiet, she wasn’t infuriating. With enough space between them with no one else, it was difficult for Ava to ignore the truth in Sara's action and to keep telling herself that the animosity between them was inevitable and unfortunate. But that led to more questions that she didn’t want to know their answers. 

But Sara couldn’t keep quiet around Ava for long. Sara suddenly got up from her seat. Ava raised her eyebrows. The rain hadn’t stopped. Where would she go? 

“Let me show you something.” Sara walked towards the stairways on the left of the chapel. She didn’t wait for Ava to ask where they were going. The general climbed the steps spirally coiled around a stone pillar. “Be careful.” She turned to check on Ava. 

Ava shook her head slightly. Sara was never tired of being over protective of her. It was unnecessary. Ava wasn’t a damsel in distress by any means. She was trained like an Astorian knight. 

But there was a narrow step that was coated by wax that was probably dripped from candles. Ava’s front foot wasn’t aware of it and lost its grip on the narrow surface. She stumbled backward, arms reaching for something to grab and save herself. Luckily,her head didn’t end up hitting the stone. One of her arms was holding onto something -- something that’s warm and alive. Sara was quick enough to catch Ava by her waist. Ava’s arm was around Sara’s neck, instinctively pulling herself close to the other woman. When her eyes flicked up, she realized that there wasn’t distance left between their bodies. Her chest pressed against Sara’s. Her eyes roamed over the pattern of freckles on Sara’s face. It seemed like Sara was doing the same. The scent of cedar wood and citrus was almost intoxicating, almost unbearable.

Ava clearly heard a swallow roll down Sara’s throat. “Told you.” Those words came out breathily from Sara’s lips.

Ava’s chest heaved a few breaths before making sure that both her feet were secured on the stairs. But the arm around her wasn’t loosened. Ava felt the thuds of the heart that wasn’t hers. Her gaze fell down to anywhere but Sara’s face. “I think I can stand by myself.” She muttered, voice coarse by the fluttering of her chest. 

Sara carefully let go of her. The warm contact disappeared when Sara took a step back. Those blue eyes were on her for a moment. They were dilated because of the lack of light. Sara turned her back towards Ava and headed to the belfry at the top of the tower. 

Light came through the tall windows surrounding the bell. The rain now turned into gentle mist just like yesterday. Sara was standing in front of one of the windows, looking into the sky. Ava looked over the balcony. Her breath hitched at the sight of the sea of fog with peaks of mountains. It was beautiful. It might be the same view God saw earth from his heaven. 

“I used to come here often when I was little.” Sara was looking to the east of the sky. Ava wasn’t aware of the gentleness on her face when a thought of the little Sara Lance came across her mind. Maybe the distance between them was too much in a small place like this. Ava moved closer to Sara so she could see what the soldier was looking at. “And my sister would be where you are.” Sara told her. There was a slight hint of fondness in her tone. 

Sara pointed at the valley surrounded by grey mountains. “That’s the mine. My father used to work there. I came here with my sister just to see where he worked.” She drew her arm back, eyes dimming.

“It’s a dangerous job. Mine workers were killed by accidents all the time, leaving their children behind. That’s why we have an orphanage here.” Sara’s eyes drooped down. “My mom took my sister and moved to somewhere I didn’t know. I was too young. They said it was the best decision to keep both of us alive.” 

Sara closed her eyes for a moment. Ava saw the way her hands gripped the balcony rail. Her chest felt tight at the thought of what Sara might have endured when she was a child. 

Sara opened her eyes again. Tears were barely brimming in those eyes. Ava wasn’t surprised that none of it overflowed. Sara Lance didn’t seem like someone who would let anyone see her crying. If it was someone else, Ava might have offered them a hug.

Sara turned to Ava. She took a deep breath. “I know, Your Highness, that this whole political marriage is unfair to you. But none of us has choices. Life is harsh here. The soil isn’t good for agriculture and gemstones can’t fill your stomach. I was lucky that the duchess took me to the palace. But I have to use my privilege for my people, not for myself.” 

The words poured out from Sara’s lips were soft, begging for sympathy. But they made Ava’s jawline hardened. Her face frowned, too many thoughts were clashing in her head. She wasn’t sure it was her responsibility to improve the lives of the people of Nanda Parbat. She didn’t like that Sara chose to let go of the duchess and framed it as a heroic decision. Ava didn’t respond. Something was boiling in her chest.

“I don’t have the power to change Ra’s Al Ghul’s decision. But I promise, the duchess won’t do any harm to you. And I will always make sure you are safe.”

Ava scoffed bitterly, shaking her head, amused by the absurdity of Sara’s words. Her eyes were hardened on the soldier. The short moment of sympathy she felt for Sara was gone. 

“If the concept of a good life is reduced to just being unharmed, I wouldn’t want to live that life for long.” She turned around and walked to the stairways. Ava had enough. It was pathetic that Sara didn’t take her here to see the view of Fort Damir or to tell Ava about her childhood. Sara took her here just to tell her she should be fine with this political deal that would define the rest of her life.

“Ava…” 

Ava paused her steps. It was the first time Sara called her by her name. It sounded too weak to come from General Lance. Ava didn’t turn around.

“It’s all I’m allowed to give to you.” 

What did that even mean? Ava didn’t understand and she didn’t want to right now. This place was too small and Ava was suffocating. Ava didn’t need protecting. She never asked for it. 

“You can frame it however you want, if it makes you feel less guilty. No need to talk to me about this again because I will never be convinced by your reasoning.” Ava didn’t turn around. She stepped down the stairs, hoping to be alone as soon as possible.

++++++++

Too bad Ava couldn’t even choose to be alone. When they returned to the orphanage, Ava heard music coming from the chateau. Sara too, was surprised to find a band of musicians in the dining hall. Clara decided to throw a feast to celebrate Sara’s visit and to entertain the future queen of Nanda Parbat. Celebration would be the last thing that could be related to her situation, but she didn’t have a heart to dismiss the kind woman’s effort. 

Zari was having a good time. The soldiers seemed relaxed with the mead in their mugs. Kids were dancing and running around. The floor was occupied by some of the soldiers and townswomen. The buzz of conversation was loud to match the volume of the music. When Zari noticed Ava, she left the soldiers flocking around her to drag Ava to her table. 

Lively beats of drums mixed with the melody from a lute and flute. Ava had a few mugs of mead made from honey and spices. The drink was strong and unrefined. It burned her throat and heated her cheeks. Zari took her hand and dragged her to the floor. The servant clearly didn’t know how to dance. Her moves were hilarious but Ava quite enjoyed it. She avoided Sara and tried to look away whenever her eyes found her. The general seemed to have a good time with her soldiers and a group of townswomen. 

By the time the kids were told to go to bed, Ava felt lightheaded and decided to sit at the table. The exuberance of the celebration seemed to peak when Sara Lance was on the floor and beautifully dance with her soldiers. Their steps and jumps were synchronized. The song must be important and well known among the people of Fort Damir. The general smiled with joy. Her blonde hair was free and flowing over her shoulders, her lips bright red because of the heat in the hall and the mead she consumed. The gloomy town was easily brightened by its very own gorgeous general. It must be so difficult for these people to not fall in love with her. Ava didn’t want to know how she danced or how she laughed but it seemed like she was spellbound.

The spell was broken when Ava noticed the female blacksmith she met earlier at the square. The woman put herself between Sara and a soldier. It seemed like she was welcomed, because Sara’s smile was brighter when the woman put her arms around her waist. They must know each other well. Probably the blacksmith was the reason why Sara had to explain to Dasha about adults sleeping together. 

Ava tasted bile in her mouth. She swallowed, averting her eyes back to the mug of mead in front of her. Sara had choices. She might not be able to choose Nyssa, but she still had freedom to choose someone else. Ava, on the other hand, didn’t have any other choice except being wedded to the heir of Ra’s Al Ghul. The air in the dining hall was too warm with the smell of sweat and drunk people. Ava needed some fresh air. She made sure no one noticed when she left the crowd and found her way to the terrace. 

The music sounded softer outside. The earthy scent of the wet soil was comforting. Fort Damir wasn’t dry. It gave her some semblance to Astorian weather. She looked up. The night sky was clear after the rain. The crescent moon was glowing. At least, it was the same moon she would see above the Astorian sea. 

She didn’t see any guards nearby. Sara trusted her hometown so much that she allowed most of her soldiers to enjoy the feast, leaving only five of them patrolling. Ava chuckled at the thought of escape flashing in her mind. She knew it was impossible but her heart leapt for a second because of it. How would it be if she ran away right now? Could she survive the harsh terrain by herself? Wouldn’t it be a possible solution for this tangled mess? Astore would blame Nanda Parbat and Ra’s Al Ghul wouldn’t be able to justify his threat against her kingdom. And importantly, Sara wouldn’t have to break her own heart. 

Her mind couldn’t escape to anywhere else for long. A soft thud behind her back startled her. It was too late. Her nose and her mouth were covered by a cloth soaked with something with a pungent smell -- a poison. Ava tried to get herself out of the strong arm around her neck. But she was suffocating. Her voice was muffled by the wet cloth. A few breaths later, the music disappeared and everything turned pitch black.

++++++++

Ava woke up to streaks of light glaring through the tree branches. Her throat felt dry. She tried moving herself. She winced at the soreness around her neck. Her body felt the roughness of stones and dry pine needles. She was lying on her side on the forest ground, unable to move her hands. Her wrists were tied together. 

“Told you the drug wasn’t too strong for her.” A man in black clothes was sitting not far from her. He talked to the other man who was sharpening his knife. He dressed just like a villager with brownish well-worn clothes. His scarf looked like it was tossed in dirt. Ava had seen them before. They were Fort Damir city guards. 

It wasn’t easy but Ava was strong enough to push the ground and propped herself up. Her hands felt a sting from the sharp spruce needles.

“What do you want from me?” Her voice was dry. She felt a chap on her lip. 

The man who was sharpening his knife walked to Ava and held a canteen in front of her mouth. “Drink. Can’t let a fish as big as you die before we get paid.” He smirked. Ava didn’t say anything more. At least, they wouldn’t kill her. “Not that we don’t want to. Your father deserves some loss.” 

Ava’s eyes flitted up and hardened. So, they had some conflict with the king of Astore. She drank the water anyway, knowing that the awaiting journey must be gruesome. What Ava needed to do right now was staying calm and getting information from them as much as she could. And maybe someone would come and rescue her. 

Ava’s chest tightened at the thought. Maybe not, that someone had nothing to lose if Ava disappeared. She might get punished but her lover wouldn’t let anyone harm her easily. Nyssa was the king’s daughter after all. 

The man took the canteen away. The water spilled over Ava’s clothes. It was a bit chilly. A jacket with a bouquet of flowers wasn’t enough to protect her from the element. Then, he grabbed her by her arms and forced her to stand up. Ava’s legs were weak but she clenched her teeth and told herself not to show it. 

“Now we move.” He grunted while tying another rope around her tied wrists and used it as a leash. Ava thought she had lost her freedom when she was taken by the Nanda Parbat troop. But it wasn’t anything like this. Now, she was treated like an animal. 

Ava wasn’t sure which direction they were heading to. The fog didn’t really allow her to see much further. She only knew that they didn’t take the usual road along the edges of mountains. These men chose to use a forest trail. Ava didn’t know how long they had been walking through the dense pine forest, but it seemed like an eternity when her body felt light because of tiredness. They gave her a piece of bread, but it was no way enough. She stumbled a few times and they didn’t care to help her get up. They were dragging her towards their destination. Ava tried not to think about what awaited her. It might not be death, but could be something worse. The way her legs felt weaker and weaker every step she took slowly dried up the hope that she could find a way to free herself. 

Ava realized that they were heading towards the northwest when they were on the top of a cliff. The sun was falling far away behind the mass of rain clouds. Ava took a moment to breathe. The captors were taking a short break too. There’s a good chance they were taking her to Mercia. The kingdom was Astore’s rival partly because of the dispute over an island. 

“From the way you talk, I know exactly which ethnic group you belong to.” Ava demanded their attention. Their heads snapped towards her. 

“The mountain people wouldn’t care about fish enough to use it as an idiom.” Ava knew she was right when one of them clenched his jaw. “I don’t want to have anything to do with Nanda Parbat. Thanks for taking me away from them. I am always against my father and brother’s violent responses to the conflict along Astorian borders. I’m not your enemy.” Ava paused to stress her point. “Drop me somewhere in Astore and I will pay you more. And I promise to work my way to stop my father.” It sounded like a stretch but it should be a win-win deal. 

A hawk was flying in the sky above them for a moment before it became a black dot against the crimson clouds. The two men started laughing. One of them even grabbed his stomach for how amused he was by Ava’s offer. Ava’s face hardened, humiliated and angered. 

Within a heartbeat, she was dragged by the lapel of her jacket to the edge of the cliff. The tiny bouquet fell to the ground and probably was crushed under the foot of her captor. 

“You still don’t get it, Princess. You are not in a position to make a deal. From now on, you will learn how to have a life so cheap and irrelevant that no one would care if you die.” He pushed her forward until her toes felt the edge of the cliff. “Have you heard about how Astorian soldiers executed their prisoners? They pushed them off the cliff into the sea full of jagged rocks.” 

Ava felt a sharp twist in her stomach. The cliff was vertical. Ava didn’t see the bottom of it. The fog was floating in the pit of the forest. She swallowed. Her toes pressed on the rock surface, trying to hold on to it. A gust of wind or a wrong movement might send her body down there to be torn by tree branches and sharp rocks. There was a cracked under her feet. A small rock fell into the depth. Ava didn’t hear any echo from it. This was it. How could someone make peace with the moment before death? Were all of their senses heightened? Or they were completely lost? Ava closed her eyes. At least, her departure would resolve the conflict between Nanda Parbat and Astore. War wouldn’t happen. Her father wouldn’t dare.

Ava scoffed, pitying herself for letting the memory of those soft words she was told yesterday pop in her mind -- the promise to keep her safe. It’s meaningless.

“Enough.” The other man said tiredly. This man barely talked and seemed wiser than his partner. Ava was pulled back by her arm. She breathed out the air she was holding in her lungs. She sucked in more air as if she just emerged from the sea. She took a moment to pant with her mouth open, taking in the fact that she was on the brink of death a few seconds ago.

They resumed the journey until they were in a dense pine forest again. The last light barely hit the forest ground when they arrived at a shelter with a big pile of rotten dry leaves over its roof. It was meant to be hidden. 

There wasn’t much space under the roof. A makeshift fire pit was made from rocks. The men quickly prepared the fire. Without it, it would be too cold for them to survive the night. Ava’s shoulders started to feel sore. A day with her wrists tied together was rough. She was given a space enough to fit the length of her body. One of the captors quickly fell asleep, the other was awake to keep his eyes on the surroundings. The noises from nocturnal animals faded when the sky softly growled. Ava hoped it wouldn’t rain tonight. 

Ava wanted to sleep. Her body wanted to. But she couldn’t force her eyes to be shut. She kept her gaze on the flickering flame in front of her, as if the sight of it might keep her warm. It took a long while before she forgot where and when she was and let the fatigue take its toll.

She was barely asleep when she heard a thud over the roof. A second later, a clank of swords woke her up. Ava quickly sat up, her heart leapt at the sight of a girl in black cloak fighting with one of her captors. The hem of the cloak flew with her swift movements. 

A rough hand reached towards Ava but it fell to the ground with a heavy thud. A knife was buried deep in the back of his throat. Blood pooled and overflowed out of his mouth. Ava’s body reacted to the sight of violence with tears that she couldn’t control.

Her eyes widened, still fixed on the lifeless body. Light from the flame flickered on his contorted face. Death was an intimate moment. Witnessing it made her feel lost, as if, she too, was taken to the coldest realm. 

The rope around her wrists was cut. Warm hands rushed to cup her face. The rough pad of thumbs wiped off the tears on her cheeks. 

“Hey, Ava.” A soft but concerned voice brought her back from the trance. Ava blinked her eyes and found those blue eyes with the light from the fire dancing in them. The thumb on her face gently stroked her cheek. 

“Sara?” The name was barely uttered from her lips. Her eyes searched the familiar face until she was sure that the woman kneeling in front of her wasn’t a hallucination. 

Ava blinked her eyes, looking around, taking in what just happened. Then she turned to Sara again. “They were Astorians. They talked about fish. They were taking me to Mercia. Sara, someone must be planning something!” Ava poured her words to Sara, thinking that they were important information. “We have to send someone to warn my-- ” 

“Shhhh…” A thumb was lightly placed on her lips to stop her from rambling. 

Those hands held her face in place, forcing her to keep her eyes on the other woman. “Ava, I’m right here. You are safe now. We can talk about this later. Right now I want you to breathe.” Ava nodded and took a deep breath, eyes still widened, her heart racing.

“Good.” Sara mumbled. Her warm hands left Ava’s face too soon. But shortly a black velvet cloak was wrapped around her body. The warmth from its owner’s body heat was still there, but Ava felt like the core of her body was still frozen, her hands were still shaking. 

“Gosh, I’m sorry.” Sara took Ava’s hands, loosely holding them, brushing Ava’s knuckles with her thumbs. Ava’s gaze fell down to the joined hands between them, and without any force, she gravitated forward. Without a word, Sara let go of her hands and wrapped her arms around Ava, pulling her close, guiding Ava to rest her head on her shoulder. Ava closed her eyes and breathed in the warm scent of Sara.

They stayed like that until Ava’s breathing wasn’t frantic. Ava slowly lifted her head up. Strands of her hair stuck on her damp cheeks. Sara gently put them away. “Are you alright?” She asked, searching Ava’s eyes. Ava gave her a slight nod. 

“My soldiers will catch up with us as soon as they can. Right now they are checking the area and the roads to make sure there aren’t more of them. Tonight, we're staying here.” Sara told her as softly as she could as if Ava could be broken by her voice. It made sense. They shouldn’t travel during the night and they didn’t have time and energy to find a better spot and set up a fire. But Ava couldn’t help, her eyes turned to the lifeless bodies on the ground in front of the shelter. 

“I will take them away to avoid predators.” Sara’s voice was still soft, unfazed, as if she had done it many times before. Ava swallowed, her stomach churned at the picture conjured up in her mind.

Sara quickly took one of Ava’s hands. “Surviving is gruesome, but please, trust me, I will do my best to keep you safe.” She put Ava’s hand back on her lap before taking off her satchel and put it on Ava’s side. “I brought water and some dried fruits with me. Please, help yourself.” Then, she got up and walked towards the bodies. “I will be back shortly. I won’t go too far.” She reassured Ava. Ava turned her eyes to somewhere else. Sara took a burning wood from the fire and started relocating one of the bodies. 

Ava wasn’t sure how long Sara left her alone. But when she saw the glowing tip of the firewood moving in the dark, she breathed out a relief. She didn’t say anything. She let Sara do what she had to do. The general left again, but this time, Ava didn’t have any doubt that she would return back to her. Without the horrifying sight in front of the shelter, Ava finally rested her back against the shelter wall, listening to the cracks of firewoods. 

Her body was more relaxed now. Ava rummaged through Sara’s satchel for a canteen. She didn’t think she could eat anything yet. Among other things, her hand felt the edges of something rectangular. She took it out, her eyebrows tied together when she saw that it was a small notebook. She pressed her lips tight for a moment, deciding if she should open it. It might be Sara’s journal containing her words for her lover. It wasn’t her business. 

Or maybe it contained the secret that might be useful for her. Nanda Parbat was still one of her kingdom’s enemies. Curiosity got the better of herself. She moved a little closer to the fire for more light. She riffled through the pages. Her eyebrows quirked up when she saw the tiny bouquet kept in the middle of the notebook. It was the one Dasha gave her. Ava’s eyes were soft on the crushed flowers. It was really a protective charm that led Sara to find her.

Ava flipped through pages. There were some drawings in it -- A few sketches of landscape, small but impressive with details. She flipped the page to see the next one. 

She inhaled a quiet gasp. Her eyes danced at the sight of a portrait depicted on the page --her face, her grumpy face with pursing lips. The delicate lines and shading of the knitted eyebrows really channeled her exasperation. Ava traced her fingers on it, her heart leapt. She should’ve been annoyed by the fact that, off all the expressions Ava was capable of showing, Sara chose to draw this.

The sky growled before she heard the pelting noises of raindrops hitting the trees canopies. Her heart sank a bit, thinking that Sara must be soaked by the rain. Her eyes flitted up when she heard footsteps on the forest ground. A soft smile formed on her lips when she saw a glowing dot approaching her. Ava quickly put the notebook back into the satchel and took out the canteen.

Sara put the firewood back to the fire pit. Her hair was dampened by the rain. As soon as she was under the shelter, she pulled out a handkerchief from the pocket of her wet jacket, then, she took the jacket off and lay it on the ground near the fire. She was now in a white cotton collar shirt. Its right sleeve was tainted by a stain of blood. 

“You’re bleeding.” Ava moved closer and took Sara’s right arm, pulling the sleeve up. The cut wasn’t deep. The bleeding already stopped. 

“I’ve had worse. Don’t worry.” Sara gave Ava a reassuring smile. It wasn’t the usual infuriating smirk. Light from the fire pit gleamed on her face. Without the soldier attire, the aura of authority was gone, leaving only a young beautiful woman in front of Ava. Ava drew her hand back to her lap. 

“You should have some rest. I will stay awake until my soldiers find us. Nothing to worry about now.” Sara told her while drying her face and her hair with the handkerchief. 

Ava’s eyes flicked up and down on Sara. Clearly a handkerchief wasn’t enough to do the job. Sara must be cold. Ava unwrapped the black cloak she was wearing. “You should have it back. I still have my jacket.”

Sara shook her head. “No need. It’s not even cold for me. An advantage of being a barbaric mountaineer.” She ended the sentence with a light tone and a smile that showed a little bit of her teeth.

It was difficult for Ava to tear her eyes away from the other woman. It must be because of the warmth and gentle light radiating from the fire pit. A portrait of herself in Sara’s notebook flashed in her mind. Many questions followed the thought -- how long it took to draw it, how much time Sara spent looking at her, how could she memorize the details of Ava’s expression? The genuine caring gaze upon her right now was also a mystery -- something that didn’t make sense to Ava.

Ava tilted her head a little, looking into those blue eyes. “Why did you do this?” She muttered. It must be too soft, because Sara looked surprised. 

Sara blinked her eyes with bafflement. “What do you mean?” 

Ava tucked a corner of her lower lip and released it. “Wouldn’t it be better if your lover doesn’t have to marry me?” Ava got straight to her point. Maybe she was too tired.

Clearly, Sara was caught off-guard. Her eyes widened for a moment before she closed them and let out a long sigh. She rested her back against the shelter wall, her knees were drawn up. She hit the back of her head lightly on the wood wall. 

“Don’t worry, Your Highness, Nyssa and I are just good friends. Whoever told you that rumor, I will strangle them later.”

“Oh...” Ava’s mouth hung open. Sara’s answer should be enough, but there’s still something that was nagging in the back of her head. “So, the political marriage isn’t the reason you despise me?” Ava’s face frowned, she must look exactly like her portrait in Sara’s notebook. 

Sara let out a dry chuckle. A tired smile formed on her face, one of her hands was drawn up to massage her temples, her jaw hardened. Ava wasn’t sure if she was frustrated or amused -- or defeated.

Sara turned to Ava again. It must be frustration, because her freckled cheeks were flushing. “You…” Sara stressed the word but then she pressed her lips tight for a moment and looked away. “You should sleep.” 

Ava didn’t think it was what Sara wanted to say. But she agreed that sleeping might be the wise thing to do at the moment. Sleeping wasn’t complicated. 

She was going to lie down on the surface that was clear of debris, the corner that she tried to sleep on before Sara came. But she didn’t because Sara was wiping the wooden floor of the shelter with her wet jacket. 

“Come here, sleep close to me. After what you have been through, I don’t want you to wake up in the middle of the night and not see me.” She put her satchel next to her lap and nodded her head, telling Ava to use it to support her head. 

Ava hesitated only for a few shaky breaths. She scooted closer to Sara and lay her head on the satchel. It was far from comfortable but it was better than nothing. At least, when she closed her eyes, she still felt Sara’s presence. Her body heat and her scent were reassuring. “Good night, Sara.” She mumbled, not quite sure if she wanted Sara to hear it.

++++++++

Ava wasn’t sure how long she had been sleeping. But a flashing memory of the corpses interrupted her sleep. The sight of death always left a deep indent in one’s mind. Darkness only made it more visible. Ava opened her eyes to the growling sky. Raindrops were still lazily falling and hit the forest. Her eyes adjusted to the weak red-orange glow that barely lightened the shelter, her eyelashes fluttering a few times when she found a sleeping form curling next to her. The light from the fire gleamed on Sara’s profile. Her face looked pale. Her lips parted, one of her arms was tucked under her head. _“I will stay awake.”_ Sara said earlier. Ava’s lips form a gentle curve. Sara must be really exhausted that she fell asleep. Ava didn’t have a heart to wake her up. The soldiers were coming for them soon anyway. 

Ava carefully, quietly sat up, afraid that she might disturb Sara. She untied the cloak before lying down again, using the thick fabric to cover Sara and herself. The cloak wasn’t big so she had to scoot closer to Sara. 

Ava froze when she felt Sara stir. The soldier’s eyelids were half-open, her eyes glazed. She was still asleep. Ava let out the breath she was holding. 

She should’ve just closed her eyes and gone back to sleep, but instead, her eyes were lingering on Sara’s nose and lips. She too, must not be fully awake, because the next thing she knew Sara was nudging closer, and she didn’t push her away. The tips of their noses touched. Sara’s arm found the curve of Ava’s waist and rested on it. Her eyes were closed again with a gentle exhale. Ava swallowed, hoping that the thumping of her heart wasn’t too loud. 

Ava closed her eyes. Seeing Sara’s face this close wouldn’t do any good. _“Sleep!”_ She scolded herself. But with her stiffened body, Ava wasn’t sure if she was able to fall asleep at all for the rest of the night. 

++++++++

“Sara, Your Highness, please wake up.” 

An unfamiliar female voice woke her. Ava groaned. She couldn’t feel her left arm. She opened her eyes to the warmth and softness pressing against her neck. When her eyes adjusted to the light, she let out a soft gasp. Sara’s head was resting on her upper arm. She turned her head to see who was talking to her. She squinted her eyes when she saw a woman, a beautiful woman, sitting on one of her knees near Sara. Her dark hair was kept in an intricate pattern of braids. Her deep brown eyes were full of concern. 

The grogginess was completely wiped away when she realized what they must look like in the eyes of the stranger. Ava quickly untangled herself from Sara, who was still asleep. As she propped herself up, the dark-haired woman pulled the cloak off Sara. Her defined jawline hardened when she noticed the dark spot on Sara’s right arm. She quickly pulled Sara’s shirt sleeve up. 

“Sara should’ve heard us coming and woken up before we arrived.” The woman inspected the small cut on Sara’s right arm. The trace of dry blood was as black as coal. The woman quickly placed her fingers on Sara’s neck. She let out a sigh of relief. 

“Her wound was poisoned.” The woman said and turned her head to the front of the shelter. A band of Nanda Parbat soldiers were looking at them. “Someone go back to the palace and bring the healers to Fort Damir. Tell them she was poisoned.” She commanded.

Ava didn’t realize that her eyes were brimming with tears until a few drops of them dampened Sara’s shirt. The stranger brushed her hand on Sara’s face lightly. “She will survive, Your Highness.” The woman didn’t look at her. She inserted her arms under Sara’s neck and her knees, and lifted her up in one motion. She carried her and walked to the group of soldiers. 

The way she walked, the authority in her voice, and the way her eyes lingered on Sara -- Ava realized at the moment that she was the grown up version of the Duchess of Nanda Parbat. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, such a cliche. But it wouldn't be a princess AU without a campfire sharing and abduction, right? Sorry it's been a while. School was a lot but also exciting. My life is facing a big transition that I still can’t wrap my head around it. Writing fiction is comforting when my world is changing so fast.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Told you I never abandon my fics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @Roguebeachcomber for helping edit the chapter.

Ava wiped off her tears with the back of her hand when she realized she was crying. It wasn’t her place to cry for a soldier whom she shouldn’t care about. The group traveled back to the orphanage via the main road, which was much shorter than forest trail. The Duchess showed no interest in talking to Ava. She never left Sara’s side. Nyssa Al Ghul was stoic like a granite mountain when she stood tall with a long sword attached to her belt. One wouldn’t be able to see her feelings. But Ava had the whole day-long journey to witness the way she looked at the unconscious Sara in her arms while riding. 

The rumor about their relationship didn’t seem far fetched. A report about suspicious military activity on the Mercia’s side of the border was enough to make the Duchess of Nanda Parbat leave her palace and travel across the wilderness for two weeks, just to make sure her favorite soldier was safe. 

It wasn’t Ava’s place to cry -- it wasn’t her place to get closer to them to see -- to feel that Sara was still alive just to ease the heaviness she felt deeply in her chest. 

They arrived at the chateaux just before dusk. The kids were not allowed to come down to greet them. Carla was afraid that they would be too worried about Sara. Zari was there waiting for Ava. The servant didn't hesitate to drape her arms around her and hold her loosely, murmuring soft words that Ava wasn’t listening to. Ava realized how tense she had been when her body melted into the embrace. It might be inappropriate by Astorian standards for a servant to regard their master as a friend, but Ava was thankful for how unconventional Zari was.

The closed window panes were hit by the night wind once in a while. Ava stirred and flipped her body to lie on her side, restless, not being able to calm the flux of thoughts in her head. A day of travel in the wilderness back to Fort Damir should’ve worn her out. She should’ve been relieved that finally Sara arrived at the orphanage and received the needed care from the healers. 

_ “Millipede secretion based poison. The healers said she would wake up eventually and would need another few days to fully recover. The poison wasn’t meant to kill.”  _ Zari poured warm water over Ava’s naked body to wash away the soap. Ava nodded, thankful that Zari was kind enough to let her know. It wasn’t her place to discuss with Nyssa or the healers. However, she didn’t comment or let Zari see any sign of interest. 

Ava tried closing her eyes multiple times, but every time, she could bear the darkness for only a few minutes. The faces of the corpses always flashed in her mind and forced her to be awake. 

The wind shook the window panes again. The stained glass glowed with the moonlight. At this point of the night, the idea of some intruders barging into the room was quite imaginable. Her hand gripped on the soft bedsheet. This bed belonged to Sara. But it wasn’t enough. 

Ava got up, letting out a heavy sigh, defeated. The dying embers were glowing in the fireplace. Above it was the painting of a church with a tower. Ava wasn’t aware that she smiled for the first time in two days, coming to the conclusion that Sara drew this painting by herself -- because Sara could draw and she drew Ava’s portrait. The tower was her childhood favorite place with the bitter sweet memory of her father and her sister. She took Ava there -- Ava of all people. At the belfry on top of it, she promised to protect her. 

Ava tightened her grip on the edge of the mattress before getting out of the bed. The hem of her night shift fell down to cover her shins. Ava spent a moment to steady herself. The exhaustion and the lack of sleep made her lightheaded. She walked to the chest at the end of the bed, opening it and taking out her garments. She put on a black tunic over a kirtle and secured them with a belt around her waist. She looked underdressed for a princess. But that was enough. 

It didn’t take long for her feet to stop in front of a room opposite to hers. Two soldiers were guarding on both sides of the door frame. Candles were burning on the holders placed along the hallway. The soldiers seemed unfazed by Ava’s presence. But Ava saw a hint of surprise from one of them. 

“Your Highness.” One of them addressed her. Ava nodded, straightened her back. “The Duchess ordered not to let anyone in without her presence.” He informed her. 

Ava’s gaze fell to the stone floor. The surge of courage that brought her feet here just evaporated. Her toes pressed against her shoe insoles, ready to swivel around and return to her room. But then she heard a soft creak. Ava lifted her head up to an open door and a smile of sympathy from one of the soldiers. “Thank you.” She mouthed the words before stepping into the room.

The room wasn’t completely dark. Light from the candles and fireplace was gleaming on the bare wall that was coated with white lime plaster. Her eyes darted to the bed at the center of the room. A sight of the sleeping woman took her breath away. A moment later, she was by the bedside. Her eyes danced with how peaceful Sara looked. It was as if she was just sleeping, not being under the influence of the poison. Ava’s chest heaved with something sweet but piercing. The strength that restrained her the whole day was gone. 

Carefully, she sat on the edge of the bed, eyes searching for any sign of pain and discomfort on Sara’s face. The general was changed into a night shift with a lace-up neck. The rhythm of her breathing seemed at peace. Sara’s lips were the color of rosehip, a sign of good health. Seeing that Sara’s cheeks weren’t too pale, Ava’s shoulders softened. Her mind stopped racing. What Zari told her was true. Sara would wake up in two days and soon she would recover. 

Ava’s fingers twitched, wanting to know if Sara’s temperature was normal, but she curled her fingers, keeping both her hands on her lap, pressing her lips tight. Her eyes were still on the sleeping Sara, wasn’t quite sure if she was worried or lost. Her gaze moved to the side of the sleeping form when she felt a stir near her thigh -- a slight movement of fingers searching for something. Ava didn’t think before entwining those fingers with hers. She swallowed at how Sara’s hand felt, a light touch could send tingles to her fingertips. Her heart leapt when she saw the glossy blue eyes slowly open. They were half-lidded, focusing on nothing. Sara was still sleeping. Some kind of dream placed a gentle smile on her face. She looked like a foolish child, not an accomplished warrior, and Ava couldn’t help but smile back, feeling warm in her eyes. 

A short moment later, Sara closed her eyes again. Whatever dream Sara was having, it gave Ava peace. Ava carefully untangled their fingers and placed Sara’s hand on the bed. The blanket was tugged up to cover Sara’s neck. Ava spent her time tucking the blanket around Sara before getting up from the bed. She finally tore her gaze from Sara. She shouldn’t be here the whole night.

Her body shook when her eyes met with the unreadable gaze from the Duchess of Nanda Parbat. “Your Grace.” Ava reflexively addressed Nyssa’s presence.

“It was very nice of you to check on her, Your Highness.” Nyssa’s voice was gentle, but the depth in her eyes was unfathomable. “Apology that I might have startled you. Old habit. Like most of my soldiers, I was trained to be stealthy.” 

There was something about Nyssa Al Ghul. The flare of authority around her was almost too overwhelming. Ava held her hands together behind her back. “I should’ve asked you first. But…” Ava couldn’t find the sound reason to finish her sentence. The silence filled the space between them. Nyssa gave time that Ava didn’t want. She waited, more than a few breaths, and somehow, it deepened the crease between Ava’s brows. “But I--” She stuttered. 

“You can’t sleep, of course. Care to join me for some late night snacks?” 

Ava’s eyes flicked up to meet Nyssa’s. The duchess raised one of her eyebrows, waiting for the answer. Ava couldn’t tell if the invitation was genuine. She still didn’t know what her future bride thought of her. It would be awkward. But Ava couldn’t run away from this burden. “My pleasure, Your Grace.” Ava nodded. 

A smirk formed at a corner of Nyssa’s lips. It was ambiguous. Ava couldn’t pinpoint if it was from amusement, satisfaction, or sympathy. Before Ava followed her out of the room, she turned her head to look back at Sara, quietly wishing her a good rest.

“I assure you Sara will be fine. To be honest, the choice of poison was quite disappointing coming from my nemesis. It’s meant to immobilize the opponent, but it takes too long for the result.” The Duchess randomly told Ava while a soldier opened the door for her. Ava didn’t respond. It was such a strange way to ease her worry.

The duchess’s room was smaller than the room Sara was in. A tray of burning candles was enough to light the room. A stone table was at a corner near a window. A curl of steam was lazily floating up from a clay teapot. Some kind of biscuits and dried fruits were set on the table. Ava noted in her mind that Nyssa chose to stay in a small and simple room instead of kicking Ava out of the most luxurious room in the chateau. 

“Please, take a seat.” Ava sat down opposite to Nyssa. The duchess poured the tea into a cup for both of them. It smelled green. A good tea, probably not poisonous. 

“My apology that I didn’t find a chance to properly speak to you until now.” 

“I do understand. The general’s condition must be your priority.” 

“I’m glad you and Sara seem to get along well.” Nyssa tilted her head to the side a little, hinting a different meaning to what she said. Her long and slender fingers picked up a piece of biscuit and put half of it in between her teeth. 

Ava felt a tug deep in her chest, eyes drooping down to the cup, couldn’t find a word to respond. Get along well? Far from it. 

“How do you like Nanda Parbat so far? Is it too barbaric or mundane for you? We will get to learn more of the Astorian fancy ways of life soon when our kingdoms become one.” 

Ava lifted her head up to meet Nyssa’s shimmering eyes and her joyful smirk. Just like Sara, mockery was something the duchess enjoyed. Ava’s jaw hardened. She didn’t have the energy for it.

“If your purpose for this meeting is to make it clear that you resent this arrangement as much as I do, it’s already successful.” Ava didn’t look away. Nyssa might have all the power and Ava was at her mercy, but to Ava, it was pointless to pretend she was fine. A sentence of truth fell from her lips. It fueled the memory of terror her body tried to forget. 

“How do I like being forced to marry someone I don’t know? Did I enjoy being kidnapped?” Her voice raised, her fingers clenched around the tea cup. 

Nyssa raised one of her eyebrows again, then, she smiled with satisfaction. She leaned backward and rested against the back of the chair. Ava noticed that her rigid frame was somehow softened around the edge. 

“My father’s demand didn't entirely come from malice. He always follows our neighbors’ internal politics. He knows that you are wise and possess the quality to lead. You might think this royal marriage is just for political gain, but to him, it’s also personal— the opportunity to ensure his daughter will spend a life with a worthy person.” 

Ava’s grip on the tea cup was loosened a bit. She frowned, confused and surprised. But she shouldn’t trust those words. It was merely a justification for her father’s order. 

Nyssa took a deep breath. Ava was quite surprised to witness a hint of vulnerability from the duchess. 

“The healers told me that Sara will slowly recover. Now she’s just sleeping but in the next two days, she will wake up and start to run a fever. The substance may cause delirium, and it will take another two days or more for her body to get rid of the poison.” Nyssa paused. Ava saw her chest heave before she let out a soft huff. Somehow, the granite mountain was now transformed to just a woman who was desperate to save her lover. “The problem is, I have to return to the palace tomorrow. I can’t leave the court for too long. Not everyone agrees with our union. I have to find out if anyone in the court was behind the assault.” 

The duchess looked at Ava in her eyes. “I know that we barely know each other, and you have been through a lot.” She paused to wet her lips. “But may I...may I trust you to take Sara back to the palace? My soldiers have all the skills a great soldier must obtain, but they were trained to follow orders. You, on the other hand, know how to lead and you are my fiancee. Here, no one has more authority for the task than you.”

Ava blinked her eyes. The request was unbelievable -- unthinkable. But looking into the duchess’s eyes, Ava saw nothing but sincere desperation. Ava’s first thought was to reject the request, because Ava wasn’t her subject who would answer to her order. But Ava didn’t say anything. The weight of trust that Nyssa gave her was heavy. How could she put the fate of her beloved into the hands of someone she barely knew -- someone who belonged to a rival kingdom, someone who knew nothing about the path they had to undertake.

The room was quiet long enough for the tea to lose a bit of its heat -- long enough for the unreadable smirk to return to Nyssa’s face. “Did I overestimate you?, Your Highness.” She asked playfully. It was a challenge. Nyssa Al Ghul and her favorite soldier were quite similar, both couldn’t talk to Ava without the mask of smugness for long. Sadly amusing. 

Ava chuckled and shook her head slightly. She sighed. She wasn’t in the state that could process all of this. But the decision was made. She placed her hand on the table, leaning forward slightly.

“I will need a map -- a very detailed one.” She looked at the duchess in the eyes. She saw relief, as if the woman was betting with someone that Ava would accept the challenge. 

“With the help of the local craftsmen, my soldiers are preparing it right now. It will be ready by tomorrow night.” 

Ava nodded, taking in the fact that the duchess was ready to give her the important knowledge that should be kept from the eyes of foreigners. She took a deep breath. Her chest expanded. Ava knew her capacity, but her father never took her seriously. The feeling of being trusted was strangely comforting. Sara was right. Nyssa was a great person. But that realization made her stomach churn for no reason. Before Nyssa could read more into her, Ava straightened her back, regaining her hardened exterior. Instead of letting her mind wander to an unknown territory, she got to start thinking about the mission.

“I have a favor to ask.” She should start with this request.

“I can’t discard my father’s wish. Other than that, please consider it done.” Nyssa said firmly.

+++++++++

Nyssa Al Ghul on a horse was quite something to behold. Her black and silver attire, her height, her cold gaze, and her gorgeous face. Her straightened back, her fingers in black gloves that wrapped loosely around the reins. It wasn’t difficult to imagine someone falling for her. Sadly, Ava wasn’t that person. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to stay with you? It hurts a little, to be honest, that you want to send me back with Nyssa.” Zari was standing in front of the duchess’s horse, looking at Ava with worry on her face. 

“I’m sorry, Zari. But I would rather not have someone who can’t fight in a group while Sara was still unconscious. I’m not sure I’m good enough to protect you.” Ava stepped forward closer to Zari and patted her shoulder. 

The servant frowned and pursed her lips. “That doesn’t make it sound better, Ava.” 

“It will be so boring not having you around. But I promise I will see you at the palace as soon as I can.” Ava pulled Zari into her embrace. Zari gave her a firm hug. “Be safe, princess.” Zari told Ava. Her tone sounded heavier than usual. 

Ava squeezed Zari’s shoulders before stepping back. Her head tilted up to look at Nyssa on the horse. “She’s my friend. You take care of her.” Ava made sure that Nyssa understood how important Zari was for her. 

Nyssa nodded. Her horse stepped a little closer to Ava. The duchess unattached the longsword from her waist.

“The Jackal -- the symbol on the pommel, it represents me.” She held it in front of Ava. It was a bit odd that a kingdom rich in gemstones simply decorated their duchess’s regalia with a plate of steel cut into the shape of a jackal. Ava took it from the duchess’s hand. She winced at the weight of the sword. Ava didn’t think it would be practical caring a longsword like this one while traveling. 

“Show it to anyone who dare disobey your order. Remind them I equally share my authority with you.” Nyssa straightened her back, giving a glance at the local blacksmith who just arrived to deliver Ava a leather chest plate. “I will see you at the palace.” Nyssa gave her last word. Ava nodded. Zari mounted a horse waiting for her. Ava waited until Nyssa and Zari were gone from her sight. 

Ava turned around, facing all the eyes of a band of soldiers. She tightened her jaw for a moment.

“Two of you guys go scouting the village and the area nearby. Shaden, please join me at the dining room. I need to understand the main route and the alternatives as thoroughly as possible.” 

++++++++++

Sara knew a few kinds of bad dreams -- the mine accident that killed her father -- that one always came with the growl of mountain crumbling. The sight of her mother walking away with Laurel crying in her arms -- in that one she dug her nails into her palms, trying not to cry, a task impossible for a small child. 

This one was new -- the filthy hands reaching out from the darkness, taking Princess Ava from her. The loss felt like a large hollow in her chest. Guilt tasted bitter in her mouth. Ava could hate her however she wanted, but Sara shouldn’t have avoided her at the feast just because she thought Ava didn’t want her company. 

But then, an unknown warmth wrapped around her. Her mind must be delirious enough to conjure the feeling of being so close to the princess-- Ava. Could she call her  _ Ava _ now? Was it proper to inch closer to her? She held onto the sweet imaginary sensation, moving closer to feel Ava, taking in the scent she had been dreaming of since she knew how it felt when the princess slept against her chest on their ride back to Kaghan. She didn’t want this dream to end.

But like all dreams, either the nightmarish or the sweetest, Sara sensed the flare of consciousness approaching her. She sighed, the softness pressing against her dissolved in the light. Her hands were too heavy to reach and hold on to her dream. She opened her eyes, breathing softly, taking in the fact that her arms were empty. She frowned, her heart pounded. A blanket covered her chest. Above was the crimps of a tent ceiling. She was lying in on a soft pile of furs. She wasn’t supposed to be here. She was supposed to be with Ava in the forest.

A sound of a cup being placed on a wooden table told her she wasn’t alone. Sara turned her head to where the sound came from. A blurring silhouette of a woman sitting at the low table turned into a beautiful princess in a black long coat with its collar lined with grey fur, a common winter attire of Nanda Parbat soldier. Sara noticed that the air was a bit too cold and dry, unlike Fort Damir weather. 

“Ava.” She breathed out the name. It was barely audible. Her dry throat felt rough. Sara tried to prop herself up with her elbows. Her eyes squeezed shut because of a sudden headache. She let her body fall to the bed again. 

She heard someone suddenly move closer to her. A gentle hand pressed her shoulder, forcing her to lie down. 

“As I expected, you woke up a day sooner. The healers believed you would wake up tomorrow.”

Ava’s voice. This was really Ava. Sara took a deep breath to calm herself, her eyes and brain trying to make sense of why she was in a tent with Ava and why the princess was in Nanda Parbat winter gear. A surge of pain clenched around her head again. She gritted her teeth, didn’t want to cry because of it.

“Someone fetch the healer! Sara just woke up!” Ava yelled at someone, probably the soldiers outside the tent. 

Shortly, Sara heard hurried footsteps coming in the tent. A hand adjusted a pillow behind her back to help her sit properly. The cup of warm water was brought to her lips. Sara’s body needed hydration, otherwise she wouldn’t be able to talk. Her body felt light. She knew right away that she hadn’t had food for long enough to almost reach her body limit. 

The last thing she remembered were the sound of lazy rain, the cracks from the fire pit, and the tranquility of having the princess sleep near her lap. A man in a dark green cloak was checking the pulse point on her wrist. She forced her eyes open, searching for a short moment to find Ava standing a few steps behind the man. Her arms crossing over her chest. With the way her eyes looked at her, Ava seemed a bit older than the Ava she had spent time with.

“Are you alright?” Sara didn’t care if her body was in pain. She coaxed the words out of her weak throat. Ava had been in danger and Sara had to make sure whatever made her sick didn’t touch Ava. With that thought, panic squeezed her lungs. It seemed like she had been unconscious for quite a while. She didn’t know what happened to Ava while she wasn’t there for her. 

The princess nodded with a tired smile that softened her rigid frame. “What about you? You got poisoned and slept for four days. We had to carry you on a stretcher. The path from Fort Damir to Jimara was quite steep.”

“You mean Dzimara?” Sara’s body tensed up. No way. It usually took a week to travel up north from Fort Damir to Dzimara Pass, the highest point on the main route to the Meadow -- the heart of Nanda Parbat where the palace stood between the mountain range and the blue mirror of a lake.

“Mountain sickness.” Sara remembered what had happened to Ava when she reached the higher altitude. Dzimara Pass was a lot higher than Fort Damir. Ava might get sick again, and this time, Sara wasn’t well enough to take care of her. 

“We are about five seirs below Dzimara Pass, General. Her Highness doesn’t show any sickness yet, but we will stay here for a few days for her body to acquaint with the altitude.” The healer put Sara’s wrist down to her side. “I think you are ready to eat soft food, General. I will get some soup for you.” The healer got up and received a slight nod from Ava before leaving the tent. 

“What happened? Why are we here? Please tell me everything. I need to understand the situation.” Sara looked at Ava, wanting to know what made the princess look like she was carrying a rock heavier than the weight of herself. Yes, Ava didn’t like her but she was never this stern. Her eyes were always full of emotions, be it anger or excitement -- or even amusement when she was with Zari. 

The princess stepped closer. She sat on a cushion placed on the side of Sara’s bed. Sara’s hand itched to touch her just to make sure the princess wasn’t still affected by the abduction. But Sara didn’t follow her will. A soldier came into the tent with a tray of food. Ava told him to put it near her side. To Sara's surprise, the soldier was dismissed. She was alone with the princess again. Even though the pain was still throbbing around her head, she could still sense the sweetness of that fact. 

“I will tell you what you need to know while you’re eating. Don’t talk too much. You’re wasting your energy.” The princess didn’t look at her. Her eyes were mainly on the tray. She shoved a spoon into the warm soup and brought it to Sara’s lips. 

Sara pulled herself away from the spoon. “I can just take care of myself.”

The princess frowned. The spoon was still in front of Sara’s mouth, insisting to feed her. “Why are you so stubborn? I don’t understand why you’re highly regarded by your people.” 

“I’m not stubborn, your highness. My duty is to escort you to Nanda Par--” A dry cough disrupted her. It made the warm soup in the spoon spill on her gown. Sara’s hand moved up to cover her mouth as a reflex. But her weak arm was too slow. The princess grabbed Sara’s wrist and moved it away, opening her arms so she could carefully wipe off the liquid on her chest and her lips with a soft napkin. The pressure on Sara’s skin reminded her of the weight and form of Ava’s in her arms. Sara swallowed down that memory, closing her eyes, frustrated. She had to stop thinking of Ava in that way. 

Sara let out a huff. “A noble like you probably had never done this before. It would’ve been easier if you just let me eat by myself.”

She knew it was such a childish thing to say. Sara should’ve thanked her that she was kind enough to help a subject. But it was the only way to stop her heart from demanding what it wanted. And it worked. She opened her eyes and saw Ava walk away from her. Sara curled her fingers, her heart sank, trying to keep her hands where they were. Where was Zari? If someone had to take care of Sara right now, it should be Zari. She was assigned to be her apprentice.

Sara didn’t get the chance to find Zari. Ava returned back to her side with something long in her hand. Sara’s breath hitched when she saw what it was. A long sword with a jackal on its pommel. Sara was familiar with it. Despite how close she and Nyssa were, the duchess never let her touch it. She said Ra's Al Ghul would be angry. Sara’s eyes flicked up to Ava’s face and then returned back to the sword. 

“Nyssa?”

“Now, you can shut up and eat.”

Ava sat down and put the royal regalia aside. The soup bowl was on her lap again.

++++

“The civilians living in this wilderness don't form a village. They tend to live in isolation, sustaining themselves by foraging and hunting. They go to towns occasionally for stuff they couldn’t find from the forest. Hence, the scattered houses on the map.” 

“They’re significant enough that they have to be on the map?”

“Our king demanded we knew our people well, Your Highness.” 

With a thick fur cloak wrapped around her, Sara sat on a stone overlooking a distant grey valley -- the mine where her father was buried, listening quietly to the exchange between the princess and Shaden. The heat radiated from the fire pit soothed her skin. It was strange to see Princess Ava study a map of Nanda Parbat with a soldier answering whenever she had questions. Of course, Sara should have helped, but the healer deemed she was having a fever, though she had regained some of her strength back after having food and taking another long nap. The princess insisted she should just rest and do nothing. 

Sara was still having a hard time wrapping her head around what she learned from Ava while she was feeding her. The two men who abducted Ava were probably linked with Mercia, though Ava believed they belonged to some of ethnic minorities in Astore. Sara wanted to take a troop of the best Nanda Parbat soldiers to Mercia and burn down Augustus’s castle. That man hated Nyssa with passion and deserved a lesson. However, what bothered Sara most was Nyssa’s decision to leave Ava here without Zari. Sara didn’t understand why Nyssa was so careless about her future bride. Ava must be traumatized by what happened to her. Nyssa should’ve stayed with her to make sure she felt safe, or at least, leaving Zari with her.

Though she didn't entirely agree with Nyssa’s decision to give Ava her authority, Sara thought it wasn’t illogical. It was a way to protect Ava. Not all of the people of Nanda Parbat would welcome the Astorian princess as their royal guest. 

And the princess already used the authority in the most illogical way. As soon as Ava received a report about some suspicious activities near Fort Damir, she decided to leave the town and ordered half of their soldiers to stay there to protect the people, especially the children. She hoped that the move would keep Sara’s hometown safe by diverting the attention to only their group that was now moving on the main road, heading to the Meadow. Ava made herself vulnerable, being an easy target, betting on Nanda Parbat soldiers’ strength and skills. If Augustus really aimed for Ava, sooner or later, they would attack the group. And Sara wasn’t sure she would be strong enough to protect the princess.

Hence, Princess Ava had asked Sara’s soldiers to teach her skills and knowledge that a good Nanda Parbat soldier should have. Sara spent an afternoon observing the princess sparring. Her combat skills were anywhere near Nanda Parbat standard, but at least, Sara was quite certain that, with proper strategy, the princess could easily defeat Augustus in a duel. Sara would talk to her at night before they fell asleep to help the princess correct her moves.

It’s been a few nights that the princess shared a tent with her, sleeping at an opposite corner, far enough for Sara to not feel the princess’s presence when she woke up in the middle of the night. Ava didn’t complain about food and didn’t ask for a bath. Actually, she got along well with her soldiers. Dealing with the grumpy princess had never been easier. But somehow, Sara didn’t like it. She didn’t like the fact that now, Ava only talked to her about necessary things, and she didn’t frown upon her as often as she used too. She only looked at Sara when a healer came to check on her. She only touched her when she wanted to make sure she wasn’t running fever -- the damn fever Sara both hated and didn’t want it to go away. 

And Ava didn’t seem like she dread her future anymore. Logically, Sara should be relieved. The royal marriage between Nyssa and Ava would happen without the Astorian princess morning over the loss of her freedom. And Nyssa would have someone who matched her as her perfect queen. 

But Sara couldn’t just be happy with how things went. Because the princess now had all of the authority she needed to defy Sara’s order. This morning, Sara woke up and found out that Ava went to scout the area with two of her soldiers, something that Sara would never allow Ava to do without her supervision. The fever made it difficult for her to yell at her soldiers for letting Ava risk herself.

The sun was traveling down to the horizon behind peaks of mountains. But Ava had yet returned to their camp. The healers suggested Sara should eat her dinner and then rest in the tent. But Sara refused. The healers and the soldiers were too calm about the situation. They relied too much on Nyssa’s judgement. They didn’t know that Nyssa was anything like her father, whose subjects considered him a god. 

The sun almost plunged into the darkness when Sara heard footsteps returning to the camp. Sara jumped up from the log she was sitting on, feeling lightheaded. She had to widen her stance to steady herself. 

The grey heaviness that had been clouding her mind the whole day disappeared for only a short moment. When the group came closer, Sara saw the two soldiers carrying a liveless tahr, the mountain goats native to the area. She couldn’t help but dart her eyes to the princess, who looked exhausted with dried stains of blood on her clothes. 

“Don’t tell me you killed it in front of her.” Sara glared at the soldiers, gritting her teeth. 

“I find your concern illogical, General Lance.” The princess didn’t even look at her. She walked past her towards the tent. Sara clenched her hands. Her hot breath burned her nostrils. She took a few long deep breaths to calm herself. It didn’t help. She turned her feet around and followed Ava into their tent.

The tent flap was closed. Sara rushed to the princess who was taking her coat off and put it on the tent floor. Sara paused her feet just behind the princess’s tall figure. 

“You can go to bed early. I have to discuss something with Shaden and the healers.” Without turning to face Sara, the princess said while unbuckling her sword belt. 

“Are you alright?” Sara’s fingers twitched, wanting to turn Ava around to talk to her. 

The princess put her sword -- Nyssa’s sword, on the table before turning herself to face Sara. Sara saw a thin line of scratch on the princess’s cheek. 

“I am well, Sara.” 

“You couldn’t even stand the thought of me eating big game meat. Are you sure you’re feeling fine, Your Highness?” Sara’s eyes roam from Ava’s face to her feet, checking if she had any injuries. Then, she looked up to search Ava’s eyes again. The sight of two dead bodies she had killed to save Ava was haunting in her mind. She wouldn’t be able to forget how shocked Ava was at that moment. 

“Still think I’m an ignorant person who can’t appreciate your food culture?” Ava didn’t meet her eyes. She let out a deep sarcastic scoff at the end of her rhetorical question. “It was already injured by a wolf attack and we needed food. I killed it myself. The soldiers taught me. It’s an important skill to survive in this unforgiving terrain.” 

Sara froze. Her chest heaved at what she heard from Ava. The princess still looked away, pretending to search for something in the tent. This was still the same Ava who always chose to swallow down the hard choices people made for her and acted like she was too strong to break. 

Sara reached for one of Ava’s hands. It was cold and shaking. Ava didn’t pull her hand away. She let their fingers entwine. A soft and weak sigh from Ava was loud and clear in the silent moment. 

“Nyssa asked me to take you back to the palace. It’s my responsibility to be able to survive without being much of a burden to the soldiers.” Ava finally looked at her. Those cold blue eyes were softened, but seemed a bit forced.

Sara felt an unreasonable twinge. She blinked her eyes to ease it, letting go of Ava’s hand. “Now you follow Nyssa’s order like a good fiance would do. Thought you were dreading this royal marriage.” She walked to her bed and lay down, closing her eyes. The fever was burning her from the inside. 

“You’re just mad that she gave me the sword.” 

Sara flinched at the retort. She didn’t open her eyes but Ava’s footsteps let her know that she was leaving the tent. 

“Sleep next to me tonight. You won’t be able to close your eyes after your first kill.” Sara told Ava. The princess paused her steps but she didn’t respond. A few breaths went by and Sara heard the tent door flapping. Sara hoped Ava at least listened to her. 

+++++++

Sara didn’t know if it was a pleasure or a torture to see her mother and Laurel again and again in her dreams. She missed them dearly. But what she re-experienced was neither the comfort and love in the way her mother taught her to draw, nor the assurance and joy when Laurel led her to climb the bell tower. It was always the memory of herself being held by Clara to prevent her from chasing the horse that took Laurel and her mother away. 

She missed them. But the fact that Laurel was still the same lanky child, not a grown beautiful woman, was too painful. It made her wonder how her sister would look right now, and eventually, she would question if her sister was still alive. 

But dreams were always potent. Too powerful that no matter how often Sara encountered this memory of her childhood loss, she still screamed their names, calling them, begging them to not leave her alone without really telling her why. The tears trickling down on her cheeks was probably imaginary. But vividly, she felt it roll down and wet her neck. It was as if her grown self was forced to see this -- to feel this again and again without the ability to calm the little Sara -- to tell her that her future wouldn’t be too unbearable.

“Shhhh…”

A soft, breathy voice came with a touch on her cheek to wipe her tears. She felt a soft and warm thing against her face, and she pressed herself against it. Naturally, she melted into the warm embrace, letting a hand rubbing her arm to generate the needed human contact. 

“Sara, you’re not six anymore.” Those soft words reminded her, the soothing wind of warm breath gently falling on to her temple. Sara clenched her teeth, forcing her eyes to open. The dream of her mother and Laurel disappeared, leaving her in the darkness of quiet reality. 

But the warm touch was still wrapping around her and Sara didn’t need much light to know who the person was. 

“Ava.” 

She sniffed a few times, swallowing down the tears. She knew it’s her, but she didn’t pull away like she’s supposed to do. Instead, she pressed herself against Ava’s chest a little harder, impossibly close, feeling Ava’s arm under her pillow, using the cotton fabric of her nightgown to dry her tears, and Ava let her. 

“You’re having delirium, Sara. But don’t worry. The healers believed that the poison would be completely out of your body soon. A few days more, perhaps.” 

“Sorry I woke you up.” 

“This isn’t the first time. You had it a few times already.” 

Sara couldn’t tell if she was surprised by what she learned, because it felt familiar, just like a repeated dream that she always forgot when she woke up. 

A faint howl of a lone wolf was followed by a chirp of the wind blowing between mountain peaks. The thick fabric of the tent shook a little. There’s no sound of birds. The night was still young. 

“It’s cold.” Sara murmured, shivering. Her fever must be high right now that she had a delirium. 

A fur blanket was pulled up to cover both of them, and with a few gentle strokes on her back, Sara was soundly asleep.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long while. But I will try to find time to write. Danm it's getting angsty.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you @Roguebeachcomber for bata this chapter!

“We shall stay here for another day. Her Highness may spend her time leisurely before we travel up to Dzimara Pass.” 

Sara’s warm breath visible in the cold air. Her soldiers and the healers might not hear the shakiness in her voice, but they probably saw it in the way the mist of her breath puffed out of her mouth. She hoped it wasn’t too obvious how deeply the message from Nyssa affected her. 

They spent the first half of the day traveling towards their destination. They stopped at a clearing in the afternoon and set a camp. Some of the soldiers took their horses to graze the grass in the area. Sara was teaching Ava about the elements of the tent while helping a soldier unfolding the wooden lattice wall that would be covered with leather. 

That rare civility between them was interrupted by Shaden. _"We can finally get ourselves out of this fine kettle of fish."_ He told enthusiastically before he gave Ava a small piece of paper -- a message delivered by a grey pigeon standing on one of his shoulders.

Ava's delicate frame tensed up after reading it. For a brief moment, the princess looked defeated. Sara saw it in the way a thin line formed between her brows while she tried to smile. Ava had been pretending to be a tough leader for quite a while. She couldn’t ruin the moment for the soldiers. These Nanda Parbat warriors had been anything but nice to her. They accepted her, following her orders without a question, and she learned a lot from them. She thought of her subjects before herself. Nyssa was right. Princess Ava was a true leader.

The sky was cloudy today. The light was dull, a bad day for drawing, a sign of the upcoming snow. Shaden was petting the pigeon. He turned his eyes to Princess Ava for her approval of Sara’s suggestion. The healers deemed that Sara’s body was free of the poison, but it didn’t mean she had regained her authority to lead. The princess still had Nyssa’s sword. 

The message informed that the border of Nanda Parbat and Mercia was now sealed with Nanda Parbat troops. Nyssa sent a clear statement to Augustus that whatever plan he had, the duchess would not let it happen. Nyssa was certain that Princess Ava wasn’t under threats anymore. The message ended with a promise that Nyssa would be at Dzimara Pass to welcome her fiancé in two days. Sara saw how relieved her soldiers were after learning the good news. It had been almost two months away from their homes. 

Ava gave Shaden a slight nod. The soldier took the pigeon off his shoulder, preparing the bird for its return trip. Sara's duty was to escort the princess to the palace safely. She should have been relieved that this burden would be lifted off her shoulders soon with Nyssa taking care of the rest of the journey. But all she felt was the weight of realization that she only had two more days to be with Ava. All she wanted right now was taking Ava’s hand and brushing her knuckle like she would’ve done if they were alone. 

That evening, the camp was filled with joy. Ava understood the pressure of insecurity they had been facing since they left Fort Damir, not knowing when they would be attacked while Sara was unconscious. She told them to enjoy their time. Usually, the soldiers should do something productive such as scouting the area or find water, but today they were allowed to spend their time idling.

For obvious reasons, the princess had been avoiding her. She occupied herself with something else. She spent most of the afternoon in the healers' tent. Sara was wondering how much Ava had learned in three weeks. The princess, then, joined the soldiers for dinner, pretending to learn more about their lives and Nanda Parbat custom. However, every time Sara's eyes met hers, the princess looked away. Sara saw how deeply she resented her fate. 

When daylight completely left the sky, the clouds glowed without the moon. A storm was surely coming. A gust of wind blew, creating a bloom of fire crack that lasted a second -- something so mesmerizing that vanished in a blink of an eye, like the moment sunrise revealed the color of the amaranth field in Kaghan. Something that couldn’t be captured in her drawing, something fleeting and too delicate -- something like the astonishment in the princess’s eyes when she saw snowflakes for the first time. Nature was powerful, a lot more powerful than the fearless General Lance. Because it could make the princess stop thinking about her future for a short while. 

They eventually had to stay inside the tent. It was getting colder with the wind. They changed into their night shifts and settled on their beds. Ava had been quiet since the moment they were alone. Sara was sitting with her legs crossing, a fur blanket wrapped around her shoulders like a cape. Ava was lying on her side, her eyes closed, but Sara knew she wasn’t sleeping. 

“You didn’t talk to me.” 

Sara looked at the princess, swallowing at the thought of the possibility that Ava might not want to talk to her ever again. 

“Talking to you wouldn’t change anything.” Ava responded, her eyes still closed. 

Sara looked away, pressing her lips tight, fearing of those words -- either the forbidden truth or painful lies. They might come out of her mouth if she wasn’t quick enough to suppress them. She reached for the tray of candles and quenched the flame. 

+++++++++

“I don’t think we should go beyond the creek, Your Highness.” 

A big tree trunk with roots and bare branches was lying across snow covered steep banks of a creek. Probably, the tree had lived as long as the history of Nanda Parbat and fell not long ago. Dirt was still stuck on its roots. Freezing cold water was gradually flowing through the rocky channel. Princess Ava was holding the map Nyssa gave her, eyes roaming over it for a moment.

“A map with details such as locations of civilians’ houses wouldn’t have left this bridge out. What’s hidden on the other side of the creek?” The princess looked at the tree trunk that was adorned with fresh snow. She was standing too close to the edge of the bank to Sara’s liking. Sara stepped closer to her without thinking. 

“Because it isn’t important and we can’t put every detail on a map.” Sara explained, eyes were on the princess’s feet on the bank. Nanda Parbat might not be as large as Mercia, but its terrain was quite difficult to access. It was one of the reasons the kingdom was impenetrable. But at the same time, it prevented the people from fully participating in maritime trade. Sara hadn’t been here before. It was possible that this place had yet been known to her soldiers. Sara and the princess must have strolled too far away from their camp. 

This morning, they woke up to the powdery snow that softened the edges of the rocky terrain. Snow was common throughout the year in a high elevated area like this. Sara always liked when the weather wasn’t too dry so the snow stuck on the trees’ canopies. Ava seemed to be charmed by the change too. The temperature was still a bit above freezing. The snow would melt away soon. The princess wanted to see more of the forest so they left the camp early, just the two of them, to have a leisure walk to explore the wilderness. 

The force of nature was too mysterious to understand. Yesterday, Sara felt like the world was crumbling. Today, being alone with Ava in this enchanted forest made her forget about her life after the end of tomorrow. Now was the time no one else could know about, except herself and Ava -- the moment so innocent that the gloomy future couldn’t touch it.

They had lunch quietly at the base of a spruce tree near the creek. It wasn’t big but surely old. The tree’s will to live was something to admire. Its roots insisted on holding onto the rocky ground, though it couldn’t grow bigger due to the lack of nutritions. Sara made a small fire so she could boil some water using her canteen. She made spruce needle tea. Ava was sceptical at first, but she couldn’t resist the comforting scent. Ava closed her eyes and hummed approvingly after taking a sip. 

Sara didn't know that her smile was brighter than how she would have allowed. She told Ava about other kinds of pine trees. She liked fir trees the most. They made the best tea. Cedar needle tea tasted strong but it's too oily. White pines were her least favorite. They tasted grassy and too light for her liking. Growing up in a place where austerity was highly valued, Sara usually didn't talk much if she wasn't alone with Nyssa. Right now, she wished she had all the time to tell Ava about everything -- the inland trade route to Persia, the underground library under the palace, and she would take Ava to see the ice cave on the way to the summit of Nanda Parbat.

It came to the point that conversation wasn’t needed. Sara felt it was enough to just simply be there with Ava. She rested her back against the tree. And somehow, without a word, Ava moved closer until their shoulders touched. Maybe it was getting colder and Ava needed a different kind of warmth, the familiar one, something gentler than the heat from burning twigs. Sara didn't know how many nights Ava had held her close to calm her from the fever. She never dared finding out.

It felt like there were just two of them in this world. Ava who wasn’t angry or acting tough -- who wrapped her hands around the warm canteen and looked up to the tree canopies, searching for movements of small animals and smiled subtly when she found one -- was the Ava who made Sara lost of words, who made Sara imagine too much about a life without the obligation of being raised in the court of Nanda Parbat. 

But Sara was never a dreamer. The Jackal Sword was still there next to Ava’s lap. Nyssa must admire her future queen quite a lot that she trusted her with the sword. Right, Ava was Nyssa’s best chance to have a peaceful life. Sara didn’t really know Ava’s thoughts about the duchess. But, clearly, there was some form of respect between them, otherwise the princess wouldn’t have kept her words and took care of Sara instead of manipulating her authority to find her way home.

She felt Ava shift a little. Despite the small fire Sara set up, Ava’s cheeks and nose were flushing because of the cold. They should return to the camp and prepare for the journey tomorrow. Sara took a deep breath, telling herself that the thing she felt was neither real nor important. 

"Are you excited that you will be free from this burden soon?" 

The princess softly broke the silence between them. She wasn't looking at Sara. Her gaze traveled somewhere far away. It wasn't really a question, simply a slip of her stream of thoughts. It might not need to be answered. 

But it was harsh. Sara flinched, unable to understand how Ava could ask such a question. Hadn't she seen how much Sara tried to keep her safe? Didn't she know the reason Sara always took her to see beautiful things? Didn't Ava understand why she spent her time making sure she ate enough?

But she couldn't blame Ava. She should be proud of herself that Ava didn't see all the unsaid feelings hidden behind her hardened exterior. 

“You’ve been out in the cold for too long. We should go back and warm you up in the tent.” Sara stood up and used her foot to scrape the snow over the fire to smother it. 

“Are we really not gonna cross the creek?” 

Ava rose from the ground, tying the sword to her waist. The princess pursed her lips, looking at Sara with a hint of annoyance. It was the look that always ignited some weird warm feeling within her. Sara glanced at the other side of the creek. There were some broken tree branches. Someone was there not long ago. A hunter, perhaps. Sara didn't think they should cross their path. An unexpected encounter might result in an accidental harm. 

"We shall not, Your Highness." Sara lifted her chin up, holding her hands behind her back.

She saw Ava narrow her eyes. "I still have the sword." The princess didn't wait for Sara to protest. She turned her back to Sara and quickly walked towards the bridge. Sara rolled her eyes at how stubborn the princess was. With quick strides, Sara was at the bank to block Ava from climbing up above the fallen tree trunk. Ava glowered at her, undoubtedly frustrated. 

And that was enough to make Sara lose her grip. She shook her head disapprovingly before offering the princess her hand, her heart thumping but her face stern.

Ava’s eyes were on Sara’s hand for a moment before they flicked up to her face. The princess bit her lip lightly before their hands joined. Sara stepped onto the tree trunk carefully, checking if it was secure. Ava followed her, her cold hand tightened around Sara’s for a brief moment to balance herself. 

The water under their feet might seem calm. But Sara knew that it could be deceptive with turbulences under its surface. Falling into a freezing ravine like this one could be deadly. Sara took her time to make sure that every step forward was safe. For obvious reasons, she wanted them to be on the other side of the creek as quickly as possible, but with the snow, Sara had to pay more attention to the surface she stepped upon. 

Their hands were disconnected when they reached the bank. Sara jumped off the tree trunk and stood securely. Her feet sunk in the fresh snow. She looked up, ready to help Ava stepping down. The princess gave her a smirk. Sara knew exactly what Ava was thinking. The princess walked back to the middle of the natural bridge. Her steps were too quick for Sara’s liking. Sara held her breath until Ava finally stood still.

Sara huffed, infuriated. If the princess didn’t return to the bank soon enough she might have to go get her. But Sara saved _“You’re gonna kill yourself.”_ from falling from her mouth, because the princess just opened her arms wide to balance herself and looked up to the clear blue sky. Wind blew gently and some snow flew from tree canopies. Afternoon light reflected on the glittering ice crystals in the air. Ava closed her eyes for a moment when snow dust touched her face. She was born a princess of the ocean, but right at this moment, it wasn’t hard for Sara to believe that Ava was the queen who could easily make this cold mountain surrender.

Sara couldn't comprehend how long it took before those grey blues turned to her again, but when they did, Sara took in a shaky breath, feeling like she was naked in front of those eyes. She knew Ava saw it, because Ava tilted her head, raising her eyebrows before letting out a soft sigh. A tired smile lightly formed on her lips. With sure footed steps, she walked back to the bank and got off from the tree trunk, now standing facing Sara. The princess might be a bit taller than her, but she had never looked intimidating. However, right now, Sara felt so small in front of her.

“Is this how you looked at me before you drew my portrait?” Ava asked with a hint of amusement. Sara must have made a fool of herself by blatantly fixing her gaze on the princess too long.

But there’s nothing amusing in Ava's question. Sara's lips were parted, eyes widened at what she just heard. Her legs felt weak and dizziness coiled in her stomach. They had been sharing a tent for almost three weeks. How stupid she was to never think that, at some point while she was unconscious, Ava might have some how discovered her drawings. 

Years of training to become one of the toughest Nanda Parbat warriors couldn’t prepare her for this. She cursed herself internally. She wasn't a small child anymore. She shouldn't have drawn that portrait just because the feelings inside her chest were too overwhelming that she needed a way to let it out. Sara swallowed, desperately trying not to lose her calm. She lifted her chin up.

"Nyssa commissioned your portrait so she could use it as a gift to impress her betrothed. My apology, Your Highness, that I didn't inform you before I drew the sketch." 

Behind her back, Sara squeezed her own hands, stopping them from shaking. How desperate she was that she came up with such nonsense. But it was her chance to get herself out of this. The lie actually made more sense than the truth.

Ava held her gaze on Sara's eyes briefly, probably saw all the things Sara had tried to conceal, because Sara felt like she was tied to a chair and being interrogated for eternity. 

Ava didn't say anything more. The princess scoffed before walking past Sara to the narrow forest trail. 

"You shouldn't go that way, Ava." Sara swiveled her feet to find the princess stumbled and fell to the snow covered forest ground. 

"Ughh...what the hell?" The princess groaned while trying to get up, her right foot was tangled with something. 

Sara walked leisurely to the spot where Ava was. The princess was pulling her foot from a small metal snare trap. It was aimed for a snow hare, not something as big as a stubborn princess. Ava wouldn't be harmed by the thin wire. Sara sat down and used her knife to free Ava's leg from the trap. She couldn't help but chuckle fondly. 

"A hunter might have set several traps around this area. You should've listened to me more often. You won't survive by yourself in the wilderness." 

Sara stood up and offered her hand to help Ava up on her feet. But the princess dismissed her hand and got up by herself. Sara saw how disheveled she looked. A few strands of her silky hair fell from her tight bun. Her chest was heaving. The princess drew a step forward, and suddenly, the distance between them barely existed.

"What's the point of invalidating me? To tell me I'm not worthy of Nyssa's trust? To remind me that I'm just a compensation for the collateral damage?" Ava's eyes were the color of glacier, but they weren't cold, they were burning with anger.

Sara could've told Ava that her laugh wasn't meant to be an insult -- that her heart beat a little faster when Ava let her emotions show -- whether when she was angry, charmed by nature, or when she was focusing on something. Because Ava was vibrant, unlike the dull granite palace that Sara grew up in.

But Ava's words were spewed to Sara's face like venom, and just like being bitten by a cobra, Sara felt numbness seeping from her bones. How could Ava say such a thing? Sara never once thought of Ava as anything less than the most beautiful thing she ever knew in her life. But Ava was an Astorian. It must be an arduous task to change her view on Nanda Parbat. Sara lifted her chin up. 

"You are my worst nightmare.”

She retaliated, heart aching with every word she said. And it must be such a good retaliation, if her goal was to win a quarrel, because Ava was silent for a long moment, probably trying to swallow down the frustration visible in the way her eyes flicked up and down on Sara's face. The princess huffed out a hot breath.

"I know." Ava pressed her lips tight, nodding slightly as if she finally received an answer for something. "I know, Sara. You called my name in your sleep." 

Ava walked back to the bridge, her shoulder hitting Sara's on her way. Sara didn't immediately follow her. She took a moment to close her eyes, suppressing the urge to just pull the princess into her arms and surrender all the truth brimming in her chest.

++++++

When Sara finally saw a dancing flame over a bonfire, she was relieved. Their trip back to their camp was quick, because it seemed like both of them wanted to escape the silent tension they had created as soon as possible. There were a few hours left before sundown, but Shaden approached them with two cups of warm milk liquor, a Nanda Parbat traditional drink. The smells of burned meat and smoke of firewood filled the clearing with mirthful warmth. The soldiers had prepared a feast while they were gone. They thought that they should do something to mark the end of this long journey and really show Ava that they counted her as one of them. Maybe her decision to leave Fort Damir gained her the respect. 

The distance between the princess and the general was gradually widened. Each occupied themselves with different people. When the sun left the sky and it was too cold to sit far away from the fire, they ended up at the opposite sides of the circle. Tomorrow was approaching with every time Sara emptied a cup of the warm liquor. She had several cups already, including the one freshly distilled by Ava. It tasted a bit different, a bit sweeter than usual. The princess probably wanted to spend her last night in the forest learning more from the soldiers and the healers instead of being with Sara. Maybe sleeping next to each other for weeks was too much for Ava. The princess didn't even spare her a glance.

"Are you alright, General? You have been quiet. Usually, you would have joined our dance." A soldier asked her while they were watching a joyful dance around the fire to Nanda Parbat folk songs sung by the men to the rhythm of their clapping hands.

"I'm alright." Sara didn't even try to give the soldier the reason why she acted differently. 

She wasn't in a mood to celebrate and she didn't want to ruin it. The effervescence of the celebration was at its peak when Shaden invited the princess to the dance circle. The soldiers made cheering noises, urging the princess to dance with them. Ava smiled sheepishly, but she didn't reject the challenge. She was clearly not sober, stumbling a few times trying to follow the soldiers' movements. Ava was radiating with rosy lips and cheeks, and it's a bit difficult for Sara to look at something else.

Sara thought she could successfully distance herself from Ava tonight. She was wrong, because the moment she saw the princess's body swaying too close to the fire, she jumped from the log she was sitting on. Fresh pine wasn't the perfect choice for firewoods. They cracked a lot. Sometimes the popping noise was pleasant, but right now, Sara was concerned that a burning wood could burst and harm the princess. Before it happened, Sara was standing between Ava and the fire, ushering her out of the dance circle. Ava whined a bit that Sara shouldn't bother with her, although she was too drunk to steady herself. Ava leaned against Sara's front. Sara's arm was around Ava's waist to balance both of them. She widened her stance to support Ava's weight. 

"You had enough fun, Your Highness. Time to go to b--" 

"Don't _Your Highness_ me, you dimwit." 

Sara's sentence was cut off by a grumpy remark from the princess, who, despite pursing her lips disapprovingly, was now resting her head on Sara's shoulder. Baffled by the unexpected insolence, Sara looked at Ava, eyes blinking in disbelief, exasperated, not knowing what to do or say back to this warm and beautiful trouble in her arms.

An involuntary giggle from someone brought Sara back to the surrounding. Suddenly, she was aware that all the eyes were on them. Her soldiers were trying to keep themselves from bursting out laughing. 

"Alright, the party is over. We have to leave early in the morning." Sara gave them a death glare. Her soldiers quickly averted their eyes to somewhere else and acted like they were cleaning up the camp, despite the fact that there was nothing to be cleaned. Sara shook her head, if she were Ra's Al Ghul, these men would be dead already. 

Still being annoyed by her underlings, cheeks warmed by the weird tempo of her heartbeat, Sara guided the drunk princess to their tent. She carefully put her on the mattress. Ava rested her back against a pillow. Sara lit candles on a table nearby. Warm light glowed between herself and the princess. Sara got up to find Ava some water. 

"Can't sleep in these clothes." Ava said after drinking enough water. Of course, she shouldn't sleep in a coat and stays. But the princess lay down on the mattress, eyes drooping with drowsiness, pulling a blanket to cover herself. 

Sara sighed, looking up to the tent ceiling long enough to convince herself to do something she didn't think she should, long enough that Ava's breathing turned soft and steady. She really missed Zari right now.

Despite her trembling fingers and Ava's heavy legs and arms, Sara managed to get the princess out of the uncomfortable garments. Now Ava was sleeping peacefully in just a linen nightgown. Sara pulled the hem of the blanket up to cover Ava's neck and tucked it around her, her hand lingering on Ava's shoulder for a moment. 

Ava, shifted, curling her body. She snuggled down in her bed. Candle light gleamed on Ava's hair and her skin. Sara's throat felt dry. Ava was breathtaking, and this was the last night she could see Ava like this. 

She sighed, and maybe it was too loud, because Ava's eyes were slowly opened. Sara quickly drew her hand back to herself. Now Ava was looking up at her, and those eyes were so beautiful -- so compelling. Sara swallowed down the tightness in her throat, spellbound, couldn't escape Ava's eyes. 

"Am I really your worst nightmare?" The princess mumbled softly, eyes still looking up at Sara. Ava was older than her, and always carried herself like a noble, but right now, her matureness was stripped off her face. The curiosity in her eyes -- the crave to know something -- was too endearing. 

Sara let out a deep sigh. The warm candle light danced a little. Ava tucked the hem of the soft blanket close to her chest. Sara's stiff shoulders were softened. She bit her lip lightly, her eyes warm with a smile that was barely visible on her lips. 

"It occurred a few times. Someone -- bad people with dirty and devilish hands, took you away from me." The glint of light in Sara's eyes was dancing, searching Ava's face. She didn't know when it started, but it had become her habit to check on Ava. She saw Ava's brows slightly furrowed. The princess was thinking too much again. Sara couldn't help, because right now they were alone, so she didn't stop her hand from putting a strand of Ava's hair behind her ear. Her fingers brushed lightly on Ava's temple, and the princess closed her eyes for a moment at the touch. 

"I was so scared." Sara let out the breathy words, chest tightened when the bad dream conjured up in her head. Ava averted her eyes to something else. Maybe the pain was visible, and it was too much to look at. 

"And Nyssa really commissioned my portrait?" Ava asked, her fingers fidgeting the hem of the blanket.

"No." It was all Sara could manage to say. Ava's eyes flitted up to meet hers. Sara saw the frown of confusion resolved into something else she couldn't read. Ava shifted and turned her back towards her.

"Good night, Sara." That was all Ava had to say after learning the truth that had been burning in Sara's chest. 

Sara let the silence settle in the tent. She sat there until she was certain that Ava was soundly asleep. It didn't take long, Ava was already drunk. Sara reached for her satchel, taking out the small notebook. She quietly flipped through the pages until she found the one with Ava's furrowing face on it. She smiled softly, remembering how her heart bloomed when she saw Ava again after fifteen years. Carefully, she tore the page from the notebook. She hesitated for a long moment, but there wasn't any other way, she let the candle flame burn the already torn piece of paper. 

++++++++

The night was a lot. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead despite the cold. Sara slept through the burning battle between wishful dreams and nightmares. The healers were certain that she was fully recovered, but she felt like the poison was still strong in her veins. She wasn't supposed to feel like this. 

She forced her eyes open, squinting against the sudden brightness in the tent. It was late. They were supposed to leave the camp early in the morning. Her eyes roamed around her surroundings. She quickly got up from her bed. Ava wasn't in the tent. She might be outside with the soldiers preparing for the trip to Dzimara Pass. 

No, something was off, because it was too quiet. She didn't hear any sound of people talking or walking. The camp was lifeless. Sara grabbed her jacket and quickly put it on her nightshift. She put on her boots, didn't even bother putting her wool stockings on. 

The sky was clear and the sun's position told her it was already late afternoon. The snow started melting. The fire that was supposed to be kept burning in the middle of the camp was now just a pile of cold ashes. Three of the guards were unconscious on the ground. 

"Ava!" 

Sara hoped Ava was just going for a walk nearby and she would hear Sara's calling. The guards stirred and woke up, looking around with the same bafflement Sara had a moment ago. 

"Where's Ava?" Sara almost yelled at the soldiers. She could see that their faces turned from sleepy to horrified. Because of the noise she made, the soldiers and healers came out of their tents. All of them were clearly disturbed by how late it was. They quickly searched the camp to find some clues of what might have happened to Ava. Half of her soldiers were sent out to search the area. Sara’s heart was thrumming harder with every minute pass not knowing where Ava was. 

"One of our horses was stolen, General!" A soldier informed her from where they tied horses. 

A healer ran to her, his face pale. He looked distressed, knowing he would be punished. "It's my fault, General. I told her about the mountain honey and I gave her a bottle of it." If a glare could really kill, the healer would have been dead by now. The mountain bees were the deadliest among all bees. They could be found in the high altitudes and they made honey from poisonous flowers. The honey wasn't harmful, but could be used as sedative and hallucinogen. Ava must have put it in the liquor she made last night. 

They checked the camp and found that Ava only took some food, the map, a bow, and the Jackal sword with her. Sara clenched her jaw. She could have seen this coming. Ava took her time learning about the map and all the needed skills to survive in the wilderness. She also had the sword that could make anyone she met on her way obey her request. 

But Ava was too naive. She overestimated herself. The snow was melting and the ground was wet. The horse she took left a visible track behind. It would be easy to find her and restrict her freedom until she was escorted safely to Nyssa. But did Sara have a heart to do such a thing? To force the princess to accept the fate she risked her life escaping from?

But Sara had to at least find her. Ava couldn't survive by herself. The weather was harsh and food was scarce. There were also predators in the forest. 

"She won't go that far, General. We will find her by the end of the day." Shadden assured her while preparing his horse.

"All of you standby here. I don't want her to think that we are her enemy and fight us. She was desperate. We better not provoke her with a troop of soldiers. I will go alone. Shaden, you go and tell Nyssa the princess needed to acclimate here a few more days." 

Sara didn't waste anymore time. She didn't even give her soldier the reason why he had to risk his life lying to Nyssa. She mounted her horse and kicked its belly. From the track left on the snow, Ava was heading south towards Fort Damir. That wasn't entirely a bad thing. At least, if she took the main road, she would be relatively safe. 

+++++++

The sun almost left the sky when Sara found the grey horse digging the snow to find some fresh grass on the roadside. Sara quickly searched the area, her heart pounding with hope that she would find Ava in any moment. 

Her shoulders slumped when she came to the conclusion that Ava had left the horse at some point and let it roam free to lead anyone following her to the wrong direction. Ava was reckless. She was still the same princess who intervened in a fight between teenage princes. It's already dark and Sara became more worried about her. She knew Ava would have to make fire, and that would help Sara find her eventually. But still, she hoped she found her before a pack of wolves. 

But Sara thought she had a clue which direction she might take. It must be somewhere her soldiers didn't know. Somewhere habitable enough. It took Sara another four hours of riding her own horse while guiding the other horse to finally arrive at the bridge across the creek they went together yesterday. She left the horses near the spruce tree and then checked on the fallen tree trunk. With the light from her torch, Sara clearly saw footprints. It could be someone else's, but Sara had a strong feeling that she followed the right direction. Sara followed the narrow forest trail for about an hour, getting rid of snare traps she found on her way. If Ava was really somewhere out here, she didn't want her to get hurt by the traps. 

The trail led her to a glowing dot of light in the darkness. Sara's body tensed up, praying repeatedly in her head that she would find Ava there. Sara made sure she approached it with lighter footsteps. 

Sara paused and smothered the torch with the snow on the ground when she saw the warm light peek through a crack of a small stone cottage. Probably its owner was the one who set all the snare traps in the area. Smoke with a hint of burned meat floated up from the chimney on the top of the cottage roof. Whoever was inside the cottage wasn't starving. There was a slim chance Ava was in there. It was just her wishful hope that she might finally find her.

"Anybody's here?" She was at the doorstep and already knocked a few times. She could have just used her sword to yank the door open, but she didn't want to scare anyone. When she heard someone moving inside, she took a deep breath, bracing herself for the disappointment that the person wasn't Ava. 

The door was slightly cracked open and left ajar. But no one came out to meet her. Sara knew immediately that something was wrong. Her left hand was now on her sword, ready to pull it out if she needed to. 

Sara kicked the door open. The moment her mind made sense of what she saw, her left hand fell from the grip of her sword. She sighed with her whole body. The cottage had a small fire pit that lit the inside with its flickering flame. Hanging over it was a piece of dried meat. Dry firewoods were stacked up on one side of the wall. Opposite to it lay a small makeshift bed covered with fur. A bow and a quiver full of arrows were hanging alongside with an axe on the back wall. There was a small wooden table with a set of carved bowls and a mug on it. The scent of this place was a mix of smoke, musty mold, and a faint stink of processed animal skins. It was hardly tolerable. 

But it didn't matter, because Sara finally found her and she was safe, standing tall with the tip of the Jackal sword pointing at Sara's throat. Her hair was kept in a messy bun. There were some loose strands lingering around her face and the back of her neck. Ava looked soft even when her eyes were cold. 

"Leave me alone, Sara." Ava told her with her voice hardened around the edge. It sounded definite. 

Sara shook her head. "Ava, this is suicidal. The forest is brutal. You can't return to your kingdom by yourself." Sara drew a step forward. The tip of the sword felt cold against her skin. The heavy sword was shakened a bit. An uncommon sword like this one needed special skills to wield. Sara could easily disarm Ava. But she didn't want to make the princess resent her more than she already did. 

"This is the best way to protect my people. If I disappear, my father will blame your king. Nanda Parbat will not be able to justify their plan to conquer my kingdom. And Nyssa doesn't have to be a chess piece in this messy politics." Ava's eyes were full of determination. The princess was a true royal who was willing to sacrifice herself for her people. But no matter how much Ava tried to act like a political leader -- like this whole mess had nothing to do with her feelings, Sara still saw lament in her eyes.

"Listen to me, Ava." Sara held her gaze on the princess. "Nyssa is a good person. I've known her my whole life. She saved my life and taught me to be the person who I am. She will be a good partner. She might act cold, but she has a beautiful heart. She isn’t anything like her father. She will honor your wishes and won't force you into anything. And she will protect you with her life. Don't you remember when she stopped Augustus from hitting you when we were kids? It's meant to be, Ava. And even if it's not, Nyssa will be your good friend. Marrying a friend isn't entirely a bad thing." Sara poured out all the reasons she kept telling herself. Ava might not see it but she would have a happy life with Nyssa. They would be the monarchs who brought peace to their lands. Sara's mind repeated what she just said again and again, filling her head with logical thoughts instead of a dream of holding Ava's hand and running Away with her to wherever they could be free -- Persia, Arles -- a cold desert or an ocean full of pirates -- wherever Ava wanted to be. 

"But why are you crying?" 

Sara heard a clunk of a metal hitting the ground. The tip of the sword wasn't at her throat anymore. She blinked a few times to get the blurriness out of her sight. Her cheeks felt the warm wetness trickle down on her skin. Two warm hands now cradled her face, the familiar gentle thumbs wiping off her tears. 

"Why are you crying?" Ava asked again. This time it was softer, because there wasn't a distance between them. Ava's face was just a few inches away from hers, her face frowned, her beautiful eyes were tainted with worries. "Sara, are you hurt?" 

She was crying? Of course, she was, because she hated what she just said to Ava so much.They inflicted pain— like a knife plunging deep in her chest. No matter how perfect and logical those reasons were, Sara couldn't just dismiss her feelings. She might be a great warrior of Nanda Parbat, but in front of Ava, she was just a girl who still couldn't make sense why she had to blame this innocent feeling dear to her heart.

Sara closed her eyes for a moment, hoping to stop her tears. Her arms moved up to circle around Ava's waist, pulling Ava closer. Before her brain could think again, her eyes fell down to Ava's lips. Despite being this close to Ava, Sara still felt like they weren't close enough to ease the suffocation she was feeling. She needed more air so she leaned in until their lips touched. She let out a shaky sigh. It was comforting -- Ava's lips were comforting. Ava's hand cradled Sara's jawline to tilt her chin up, her thumb tracing a soothing circle on her cheek. 

When Sara's body completely melted into their kiss, Ava placed one of her hands on the small of Sara's back. She stepped backward and pulled Sara with her to the bed. Sara was now sitting across Ava's lap, her arms looping around Ava's neck. Their lips disconnected but their foreheads touched. Sara closed her eyes and breathed in Ava's warm and sweet scent. 

Talking wasn't something they wanted. Sara just wanted to be close to Ava and listen to the cracking noise from the fire pit, indulging herself in the recent tingling memory of how Ava kissed her back. But Ava didn't let her. Ava's hand was on the back of Sara's head to pull her down for another kiss, and Sara shivered at how different it was compared to the first one. This time, Ava's tongue begged her to part her mouth. 

Her head might be clouded by the noises of their heavy breathing, but Sara knew where this was going, because their coats and jackets were now on the floor and Ava's hand was now busy untying Sara’s stays. Against her will, Sara pulled herself from the kiss. Ava's hand stopped what it was doing, her face glowing with flushing cheeks and lips. "What?" She mouthed the question, searching Sara's eyes.

Sara cupped Ava's face with both her hands. "Here isn't the proper place. I don't want to disgrace your honor." Sheepishly, Sara told her. This bed was too shabby for a princess. 

Ava shook her head and gave Sara a smirk, her eyes danced with amusement. Ava's hand moved up to brush on Sara's hairline. "You are always careful." Ava held Sara's face and gave her a light kiss on her temple. "But I'm not fragile." Ava murmured, looking into Sara's eyes.

Sara swallowed, tentatively placing her shaky hand on Ava's chest and slipped her fingers under the low neckline of Ava's linen shift. Her stays was swiftly gone. Her body squirmed on Ava's lap when she felt fingertips tracing her burning skin. 

++++++++

Sara didn't usually wake up late. But last night was long, though she didn't think it was enough. She found herself being wrapped by a fur blanket like a newborn baby. The cottage was still warm with the dying fire. Sara got up, the blanket fell from her naked shoulders. She had to grab its hem to prevent herself from being exposed in front of the woman sitting at the table. Ava was fully clothed. She was having her breakfast, which was just bread, cheese and the leftover meat. Ava was surely too hungry to be picky about food.

When Ava noticed that Sara was awake, she brought her a mug of warm water. She sat next to Sara on the bed and offered her a piece of bread torn from the one she was eating. Sara still couldn't wrap her head around what had happened last night, but she sure didn't regret one bit of it. 

They had breakfast quietly. It felt almost like when they were at the camp, except that right now Sara was naked with just a blanket covering herself, and wasn't shy to lean against Ava's shoulder. Apparently, General Lance couldn't sit with her back straight. So, the princess put the food aside and pulled Sara to rest against her chest. Sara sighed contentedly, nudging her face to the crook of Ava's neck. They hadn't talked about this, but it seemed like their bodies already did the communication. 

But the sun was still moving towards the west. Sara saw it in the way the streak of light peeking through a crack slightly changed its angle. Ava snuggled closer, she sensed the weight of their reality too. 

"What next? What do we do next?" Ava broke the silent tension.

"I told Shaden to tell Nyssa that you needed a few more days to acclimate. She won't start finding us. My soldiers, on the other hand."

"How much of a chance do we have?" 

"We can try running away, but..." Sara paused, curling her body in Ava's arms. "No one can escape the eyes of Ra's Al Ghul." 

Ava sighed, her breath was warm against Sara's bare shoulder. "How long do we have until they find us?" 

"Until sundown, I think." Sara's voice cracked a bit. She wished she could say something more pleasant. 

"Good." 

Sara turned her head to See Ava's face. She raised her eyebrows, surprised by Ava's response. And maybe because it caught her off-guard, Sara didn't have a second to resist when Ava just laid her down on the bed. A whimper escaped from her mouth at the unexpected change of her position. The blanket slipped out of her grip and fell from her body. The sudden coolness was quickly replaced by the warm weight of Ava. Their noses barely touched, Ava's hair falling down and tickled her bare chest. Sara's hands were now lingering on Ava's face, her bare legs tangled with Ava's backside.

"I'm still mad you burned my drawing." Ava whispered to her lips. She didn’t give Sara a chance to explain herself.

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter kind of hurt. Sorry not sorry. I only write angst. Also thanks all the testosteronish bushcraft videos I had to get through in order to know about forest. We really need female gaze in bushcraft videos. I'm not sure I'm guilty of cultural appropriation. To build their cultures I kind of pick some elements from various sources. The tent and the milk liquor are inspired by Mongolian yurt and milk vodka made from fermented whey. The mountain honey is from Himalayan giant bees. It's hallucinogen used as recreational substance. Anyway, enough nerd rambling. I hope you enjoyed.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah, it's gonna be fluffy, but like there's a good chance I will drown myself in angst.


End file.
